It's not a great day today. The bug the children brought home with their homework & happy tales of school days may have finally left me yesterday, but after spending an afternoon at the Salt Lake Comic Con, the effort took a greater toll than I had prepared to pay. I swallowed copious amounts of Vitamin C, then rubbed my hands with sanitizer every thirty minutes, but there was nothing I could do to keep the ticking at bay. I'm hobbling about today on two forearm crutches when I'm not lying in my bed willing my body to stop moving. Tic disorders are inconvenient things.
The Leprechaun is in the other room bundled in blankets in her bed—something I wish I could do, but I cannot return to sleep. Only the Brownie is bouncing with energy. Too bad we weren't able to send her to church with her mother, but on the upside I have a nurse on hand to bring me protein shakes and be amazed at my photo skills.
I only have a few more years to amaze her this way until she is able to do these sorts of things herself and then suddenly she will wonder why she ever was amazed with me in the first place. Then she'll be a full-fledged teenager, questioning everything I say as she thinks that I'm an embarrassment. This will last until she becomes an adult and then she will question everything she thought as a teenager. Children tend to rediscover parents at that time. I will enjoy these magical years with the Brownie as much as I can before she begins the long, hard Dark Age of Rebellious Enlightenment.
As soon as I stabilize, I will make something of this day. It's a promise I have made to myself—a promise that includes holding our own church service in our living room, making home baked cookies, and editing family videos. There is no time for sadness or exhausted twitching in bed. I cannot while away my day passively watching Netflix, or less passively play an JRPG propped up on the couch. In point of fact, I assumed my body would have started cooperating already. Hasn't it seen my list?
With luck, I will get a good night's sleep tonight. This will be a busy week for me. Aside from freelance work, I plan on blogging daily for National Suicide Prevention Week. I wasn't able to finish my book on overcoming suicide in time for this week, which is an opportunity lost, but I remain determined to see the project through to the end. In the meantime, I won't let this get me down. There are cookies to bake.
