Glancing Games and Other Sunday Distractions

I'm not sure why, but I've found myself caught up in a glancing game at church. This hasn't happened to me for a few years, but what makes it notable is that it involves two different people in the same place, at the same time. This is new and I can't say that I am enjoying it in the slightest.

Last Sunday I sat down to enjoy Sunday School and felt that pull one feels when eyes are upon you. I looked to my right and a pretty blonde looked away. I'd had a glancing game with her last Fall and had thought it was over. Apparently, I was mistaken. Later, as sacrament meeting started, I looked around for my daughters, the Elf & Leprechaun, but found the eyes of another girl. She's a pretty brunette, but too young for me. Whenever our eyes meet I am more than a little uncomfortable. Why is she looking at me? I'm an old dude. What the heck?

You might be wondering why I'd worry that two beautiful, younger girls were staring at me. After all, this is the stuff that fantasies are made of. What I've left out of the story is that the stares aren't amorous; they're bothered. This game has been going on for weeks, so much so that whenever I enter the chapel or foyer, I meet the glance of one or the other. I can't escape them. In fact, I can feel their eyes on me. It's very distracting.

Are you one of those people that can tell when eyes are watching you? I know that I am. I suspect these glancing games happen when I encounter others with the same intuition.

That Sunday there wasn't room to sit together as a family, so the Brownie and I were on the other side of the chapel. The glancing games were the worst they've ever been because of this. I had to look past the brunette to see my daughters, but on the other side of them was the blonde. So all sacrament long I would try to get eye contact with my girls but got eye contact with the other girls instead. It was driving me mad.

Why are they looking at me? I can discount one obvious suggestion. There's no way the brunette finds me attractive. That's just silly; she's too young. And the teacher is in her late 20s and has a boyfriend, so that's not the answer for her, either. Besides, I'm still about 20 pounds overweight, with graying temples, and hair that is so overdue for a cut that I look like Robert Smith of the Cure. Attraction is not at play here.

There is a more likely explanation: They think I've been looking at them, so they look at me to see if I'm looking at them again, which of course I am because I can feel when somebody is looking at me so I look back. After weeks of this, we are so synced that we involuntarily look up whenever we sense the other entering the room. My only comfort is that they look as irritated as I feel. I imagine they're thinking the same thing. Why is he looking at me?!

I'm not sure what to do about it. On one hand I'm experiencing a psychic event, which is more than a little cool, but on the other hand it can be stressful. Where can I rest my eyes without attracting theirs? And here we have our first clue why they might think I've been looking at them: whenever I get bored in church I start to look around.

Studying people is fun. I see the Amazonian blonde, stately and elegant, who is constantly playing with her husband's hair. I notice the elderly gentleman who is illuminated by the glow of his iPad as he cross references scriptures with a flick, flick, flick. I see the Polynesian family with the clever hairstyles. I notice the children clambering over and under the pews, much to the embarrassment of their parents. I watch the newlywed couple whisper and giggle with their heads so close you can see the static electricity entwine their hair. Then I notice somebody looking back. Most of the time that isn't a big event. I smile; they smile. We turn back to the instructor. But sometimes I end up in this mess.

I imagine this could be useful when writing a scene. If my characters were in a similar situation, one or the other wouldn't know what the glancer was thinking. I could project any intent I want there. Are they paranoid? Terrified? Amorous? Obsessed?

If my main character, Skylar, kept meeting the eyes of a pretty blonde, what would he make of it? He's thirteen. You can imagine what he might think, but would he be right? Maybe romance is far from her mind and she just can't believe how shaggy his hair is. Maybe she's being paid to watch him. Maybe she's just caught in the same loop my blonde is likely in, worried he's looking at her so she keeps looking at him to check, which makes him look at her. I'm not sure how I'll utilize this scenario, but it's fun to imagine how much more interesting this glancing game could make the introduction of a new character.

There are so many ways that scenario could be played in my story, but how am I going to play mine? I've decided the first thing I'm going to do is stop being nervous about it. I bet it makes me look guilty. I'm not doing anything wrong. Neither are they. We've just got this weird sync going on for the moment. It might be entertaining to catch their eye and make a funny face at them, but the easiest thing to do would be to simply stop looking around. Next time I sit down for Sunday School I should pay attention to the lesson instead of the faces around me. If I concentrate hard enough, I'll probably not even feel their eyes burning holes in the back of my neck.

~Dˢ

 

I'm in the Top 20 ADD Blog List? Is There Some Mistake?

Bryan Hutchinson over at ADDerworld has put together a list of his top 20 ADDer blogs. Somehow my blog ended up on the list. Can you believe it? What was he thinking? I don't write about puff adders.

Jokes about African vipers aside, I was very honored to make the list. There are nineteen other excellent AD/HD blogs as well listed there. Blogs were selected for helpfulness, transparency, frequency, the amount of posts, and for their positive impact. I can't say my blog is very transparent, tho. A lot of my graphics are quite opaque, but the text background is kinda see through. I'm glad Bryan noticed. It's the little details…

Visit ADDerworld to see the entire list and give the bloggers a holler. Bryan did a fantastic job finding new blood. Many of those blogs were new to me. I can't wait to read them!

Clear: The ADD Friendly ToDo List

Recently I have fallen in love with a ToDo list.

I hope this won't be too embarrassing for you, but I have taken it out on dates. In fact, I take it everywhere with me. I even sleep with it. Now, now. I realize I can't marry it…yet…but we are truly inseparable.

A good ToDo list gets out of your way and just lets you write things down. Anything that tries to improve too much beyond the pen and paper paradigm becomes a different beast entirely. That's not to say that ToDo apps with recurring ToDos and alarms and Swedish foot massage are bad. I like getting my feet rubbed, but sometimes I find the overhead on those more powerful but complicated apps makes me put off using the app. Any app that ends up encouraging an ADHD person to rely on his memory instead is not one I can recommend.

That being said, I find that simple ToDo list apps are rather boring. Look at Apple's no frills Reminders. It's clean. It's nice. It's dull. Then along came Clear.

 

The first thing I noticed about Clear was its interface. I was wowed. It was elegant, simple, and functional. All the slick finger gestures you've come to expect from an iPhone app are present. If you watched the video, you can see that tapping, swiping, and pinching are all put to full effect. Swipe right to clear. Swipe right to delete. Pull the list down to create a new item. Pull the list up to clear finished items. Pinch apart to create an item in between two existing ones. Pinch closed to collapse the list and move to a higher menu. Tap on text to edit. Tap and hold to move the task around in the list. None of these gestures are strangers to the regular iPhone user. Once you memorize what each gesture does, you'll be amazed at how easy the app is to use. (Definitely take time to go through their sample list.)

But does it work?

Yes, but simply telling you that Clear is a functional task manager is like trying to prove a Ferrari is a good car by pointing out that it has good tires. Clear stands out not just with the bells and whistles, but from its design concept from the ground up. Here are a few of my favorite features:

1. As pointed out before, the clean design and UI elements make this app elegant to look at and use. The text is beautiful. The colors are pleasing to the eye. There are no buttons, boxes, or widgets to clutter the screen. Considering the mess most of my ToDo lists become, this is an added benefit.
2. Clear features sound effects to provide audible confirmation to actions. People who find this annoying can turn it off in the app settings, but others such as myself will enjoy this added reward for productivity. Besides, I just know they'll be adding Star Trek sound effects as an Easter egg one day soon. Then I'll truly be living in the future.
3. A recent update added Shake to undo quickly corrects accidents. The same update also let folks have tasks longer than 24 characters. I appreciate the clean look that 24 character tasks gave the app, but it was nice to see the devs respond to user requests and add these two features.
4. One fun aspect of the app is the multiple color themes provided for variety. More on that in a moment.
5. Each new list begins with an inspiring quote. Each cleared list rewards you with another. I like that extra touch, though I don't often see the reward; my lists never end.
6. My favorite geeky ToDo list feature is the "Active List Count for Badge" setting. If you are like me, you have half a billion lists, but only one that you are actively using. Yet the app's badge shows a count for ALL TOTAL TASKS. Nothing is more daunting than seeing 547 in read hovering above the "Let's get things done today! W00t!!" app of your choice. Clear gives you the option of only displaying in the badge the number of tasks in your currently selected list. I love, love, love this feature.

One flaw I have discovered in the Clear method is when one wants to move a task from one list to another. There is no way to do that easily. Instead, one must cut & paste from one list to the next. At the end of a busy day with multiple tasks uncleared, this can be a wee bit tiresome. It's not overly complicated, and I have it down pat now, but it is a bit tedious. I'd like to see a two finger hold and move operation implemented that let me move a task from one list to the next. Or tap and hold the task to the top of the list, then wait for the list menu to appear.

Still, there is so much about this app that pleases. Simplicity and interest is a powerful combo for an ADHD mind. Aside from sound effects, Clear has more than the usual variety of color schemes to keep the app feeling new to me — something that I have found is key to sticking with any task manager system. Such a simple feature, yet not offered in most of the task managers that I have used. At first, I just played with the different themes until I found one I liked, but soon I discovered that I could avoid ADHD boredom by simply picking a new theme every few days. When I discovered that there were secret themes built into the app that one could unlock, I was hooked. The latest update added even more secret themes, some unlocked by using features in the app, and some linked to other apps as a form of promotion.

I will be honest with you. If you are looking for a powerful task manager with priorities, due dates, repeating ToDos, and Swedish massage, Clear is not going to be an app you will enjoy using. However, if you want a ToDo list app that builds on the simple pen & paper version but with intuitive, modern features, then you owe it to yourself to check out Clear.


Since I am currently unemployed, any support you folks can send my way will be very appreciated by my daughters and I. I write without pay here for the love of it and because I know many of you find what I write useful. Please donate, leave comments, or share this blog. Let me know I’m not whistling into the wind. And thanks for all the support you have given me in the past. I appreciate it all.

Thinking Deeply Again

The Goblin Brownie is in happy Netflix Land in the other room, and in a few moments the Leprechaun & Elf will be home. My time alone will be over. I've been rethinking how I spend my time lately and wishing I had tighter control of it. Of course, my brain's a freely spinning frisbee heading to parts unknown, but perhaps with a bit of effort I can rein it in and have more to show for my day—other than errands and work.

I need to live with greater purpose. I'm not as distracted as I am unfocused at the moment. I have goals, but I have to admit that my depression and this divorce have buried much of the enthusiasm I usually have for life. I'm surviving, but I'm not tackling my goals with passion, determination & focus. I want to change that.

So today I will write another 1000 words and blog and cook dinner and wash laundry and pick up the house and exercise with the kids and do basically everything. Because I have to, and because I can. Then maybe I can start to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Because sitting here feeling blah isn't helping me get anything done. And getting things done is how I determine whether I have any value or not.

~Dˢ


Update: I forgot that the Brownie dislikes being called the Goblin. I upgraded her name only recently at her request. Please don't tell her I slipped up. Shhhh!

Musing Monday - Let's Try This Again

Gorgeous day today. Sure wish I had spent it on the side of a river with a hayseed in my mouth and wind in my hair. Instead, I spent it either indoors or en route to another location indoors. Errands are the new R&R.


Back when I was insane and thought having two blogs was a good idea, I tried different ways to attract other authors and writers. I posted Monday Musings for a while, but somehow life and stuff and stress got in the way and I stopped doing them. Isn't that a shame? One of them is even in my top ten pages. Baffling, but flattering. No, wait. It features Miley Cyrus in her underwear. Oh, I understand now.

Let's change the subject.

 

If your main character from your work in progress was lying under the tree above and looking at that sky, what would he or she be thinking? Here's mine:


Lunch is almost over and I haven't thought of a new gag for Craigslist yet. Nate's going to win this one for sure. I was positive that last gag was going to work. I mean, how was I supposed to know blind people would want a panty shaped Miley Cyrus pillow that speaks the time? What a disaster! Kayla looked at me like I was a monster. Jeez, loser fanboys were supposed to call, not blind people.

But Nate's glowing meteor that he "found" in his back yard beat me hands down. He had calls from all over the country for two weeks. He told them all it was legit, but he wasn't sure if it was safe. He kept setting off alarms at the courthouse when it was in his pocket. Even Kayla thought that was funny.

Wait, I could post a personal for TSA fans! I'll tell them I'm hosting a pat down party! Uh, on second thought. Bad idea.

I need that date with Kayla. I wonder if she would like flowers. Not these. They look like little alien fuzz blobs. I mean real ones like from the flower shop, in a vase with that green stuff around it. Hey, I got it!

Can't get to Mars? Bring Mars to you! Alien seeds from ancient meteors. RARE!! Plant them in your garden. They go great with roses. Contact for more info. Must be willing to prove over the phone you have experience with xenohorticulture.

That date is mine!