ADD: Addicted to Information
I'm an addict. I love reading.
Sometimes, though, it is not often simply a joy. There is a drive to the consumption of letters that causes me to read on. If I have visited all my daily haunts, there is a moment where I wonder "Bummer, what else can I read now?" I am not sated. My thirst is not slaked. I am thirsty for even more new information - and hence I have become a serious news junky. The web simply cannot publish enough news about computers or politics. And yet there is so much other material I'd like to read. So much I'd like to learn that I'm not learning. Why aren't I driven to study Spanish or Japanese? Why aren't I driven to read more productive tutorials online? Why aren't I driven to sit at my desk and draw and create new works at a similar frenetic rate? As I continue to take charge of my life away from my disabilities these are the types of questions I demand answers for.
My wife came home last week all excited about an article she had read in Psychology Today. It was mostly focused on addiction, and more specifically drug addiction. However, the article detailed the new discoveries being made about our minds and how dopamine is not simply a pleasure chemical but a "Hey! Pay attention to this!" chemical. Dopamine is responsible for sparking the attention of the mind, or filling our lives with the thrill of new experiences. This makes dopamine, or the lack of it, critical to the person with ADD. Stimulants - the usual treatment for ADD - tend to boost dopamine levels, thus allowing the person under their influence to pay attention better. This is because people with ADD tend to have fewer dopamine D2 receptors in their brain than what is considered normal. Interestingly, not all individuals enjoy the dopamine boost that drugs, or other intense activities associated with addictions, give them. What this article details is that people who resist addictions tend to have a higher amount of dopamine D2 receptors.
Not surprisingly, addiction has domino affects in the brain. Consider this from the article:
Isn't that sweet... The addict's behavior, driven not by the need for pleasure as much as the need for the rush of dopamine caused by new and intense experiences, hurts his own mind and makes himself over time less able to resist his own destructive behavior. It truly is a fascinating article and I highly recommend you read it.
How this relates to me is that I tend to stave off depression by reading a lot. So the reading is a form of medication. My wife's interpretation was, "Douglas, you're addicted to information!" Does this mean that my mind is irreparably broken - that I have fixed it with a behavior that has locked itself into a destructive (to time and productivity) loop? I suppose one could relax with the knowledge that one is born this way and that the addiction is not one's fault. However, I have never felt comfortable with such sentiments. In fact, just typing that much made my brain itch. I have always wondered, instead, if my brain could be retrained to think differently. I do not want to accept myself as "born this way". I like to believe that I can exert a change upon myself for my benefit.
Assuming the psychologist, Nora Volkow, is on to something, this could mean that I have a better understanding of one of my weaknesses. I have always wanted to train myself to crave drawing the way I crave reading. If I think of it in terms of dopamine rush, and a wilted prefrontal cortex, I might be able to come up with exercises that help me shift the drive from reading to drawing. Or writing my novel. Or studying a second language, etc. My goals haven't changed with this new knowledge, but my approach might be more informed. It's worth pondering at the very least.
Sometimes, though, it is not often simply a joy. There is a drive to the consumption of letters that causes me to read on. If I have visited all my daily haunts, there is a moment where I wonder "Bummer, what else can I read now?" I am not sated. My thirst is not slaked. I am thirsty for even more new information - and hence I have become a serious news junky. The web simply cannot publish enough news about computers or politics. And yet there is so much other material I'd like to read. So much I'd like to learn that I'm not learning. Why aren't I driven to study Spanish or Japanese? Why aren't I driven to read more productive tutorials online? Why aren't I driven to sit at my desk and draw and create new works at a similar frenetic rate? As I continue to take charge of my life away from my disabilities these are the types of questions I demand answers for.
My wife came home last week all excited about an article she had read in Psychology Today. It was mostly focused on addiction, and more specifically drug addiction. However, the article detailed the new discoveries being made about our minds and how dopamine is not simply a pleasure chemical but a "Hey! Pay attention to this!" chemical. Dopamine is responsible for sparking the attention of the mind, or filling our lives with the thrill of new experiences. This makes dopamine, or the lack of it, critical to the person with ADD. Stimulants - the usual treatment for ADD - tend to boost dopamine levels, thus allowing the person under their influence to pay attention better. This is because people with ADD tend to have fewer dopamine D2 receptors in their brain than what is considered normal. Interestingly, not all individuals enjoy the dopamine boost that drugs, or other intense activities associated with addictions, give them. What this article details is that people who resist addictions tend to have a higher amount of dopamine D2 receptors.
Not surprisingly, addiction has domino affects in the brain. Consider this from the article:
With fewer receptors, the dopamine system is desensitized (due to the flooding of dopamine caused by drug usage), and the now-understimulated addict needs more and more of the drug to feel anything at all. Meanwhile, pathways associated with other interesting stimuli are left idle and lose strength. The prefrontal cortex--the part of the brain associated with judgment and inhibitory control--also stops functioning normally.
Isn't that sweet... The addict's behavior, driven not by the need for pleasure as much as the need for the rush of dopamine caused by new and intense experiences, hurts his own mind and makes himself over time less able to resist his own destructive behavior. It truly is a fascinating article and I highly recommend you read it.
How this relates to me is that I tend to stave off depression by reading a lot. So the reading is a form of medication. My wife's interpretation was, "Douglas, you're addicted to information!" Does this mean that my mind is irreparably broken - that I have fixed it with a behavior that has locked itself into a destructive (to time and productivity) loop? I suppose one could relax with the knowledge that one is born this way and that the addiction is not one's fault. However, I have never felt comfortable with such sentiments. In fact, just typing that much made my brain itch. I have always wondered, instead, if my brain could be retrained to think differently. I do not want to accept myself as "born this way". I like to believe that I can exert a change upon myself for my benefit.
Assuming the psychologist, Nora Volkow, is on to something, this could mean that I have a better understanding of one of my weaknesses. I have always wanted to train myself to crave drawing the way I crave reading. If I think of it in terms of dopamine rush, and a wilted prefrontal cortex, I might be able to come up with exercises that help me shift the drive from reading to drawing. Or writing my novel. Or studying a second language, etc. My goals haven't changed with this new knowledge, but my approach might be more informed. It's worth pondering at the very least.
Comments
Drugs and information can be addictive to the ADDer, but the true addiction lies with stimulation. Our brains often want to be bombarded with input (sensory or chemical) because the average person's input doesn't quite do it for us. That's why surfing the web is so addictive to someone with ADD -- it's a neverending source of input which comes as fast -- and as varied -- as you want it.
One can't directly channel this drive for stimulation towards drawing or writing because creating isn't the same as being stimulated. However, if you can find a way to make your work as stimulating as surfing the web can be, perhaps you can use your ADD for good. As an example, I like to play chess, but easily become bored with how slowly people generally play. Instead, I've turned to the internet and found lightning chess, where you play an entire game in two minutes and then can start another one. It turns out my brain is well-suited to this variant. Maybe you could become a caricaturist who makes 50 drawings an hour or at least draw in such a way that it's stimulating enough to maintain your attention. Maybe you can write in quick bursts to keep it exciting.
Jay, I don't know if being a caricaturist is the answer for me. I had thought to get into animation early on in my career but the changes were so minute from frame to frame that I quickly became bored.
I'll still explore this. There must be a way to tap into this need for new information to benefit the things I'd actually rather be doing. I have been thinking of shortening the time I draw - to draw in bursts as you say - but haven't found the answer to what I do between the bursts! LOL Everything is so distracting.
I am also addicted to information: mathematics, politics, law, social issues, physics, computer science (I just finished my Bsc. Comp sci), and 'being in the information know-zone'
I took concerta(ADD medication) however it seemed to make me even more stimulated: but in a 'calming way'. I would be content sitting calmly, relaxing and not expecting myself to be pushed....
However I smoked weed everyday and stayed up late everynight. Hence the trial of concerta did not go well...
However, I think I need to try again, but quit the self-destructing habit of smoking drugs. I finally quit smoking and I need to stop weed. I need to get addicted to wakingup at 7am to work out.
That is the ultimate addiction:
love of work
love of knowledge
love of working out
love of meditation(I did it for 4 months straight a number of years ago, but Ive been fscking up and not being able to get back into the groove cuz I smoke so much DAMN WEED!!)
Better to love knowledge than to be addicted to crack or anything else.
Better to be addicted to reading and learning than watching fscking TV. Listen to music, hang with friends, work, and READ! After all--life is about what your goals are:
My goals are to understand quantum physics + General relativity +bioinformatics + computational geometry + philosophy. I will not stop until I have become a grand master in all of them, in addition to a grand master in being a husband and father one day!
I have to be quick, I am only 22 and this life goes by quick: I must feed my brain the knowledge I need to succeed. Besides it feels great!
Than again, you could be a 'typical' person that wastes so much time with television(and crappy movies), and does not know the political situations that will shape their lives.
However I really need to quick smoking this weed, it's ruining my life...falskdjfklsjdflj
-AA
When you get married and have kids things change. Your opportunities as a single person are over as you take on new opportunities as a parental person. Plus, you start to slow down. So definitely lay off the weed. Of course, you know that it's easier said than done. A lot of people can casually use, but others are prone to addiction. Looks like you know the name of the monkey on your back. The trick is to not want it anymore. You've got to want something else more than you want to get high. I sure wish you luck with that. Addiction is a terrible cross to bear.