This may not be AD/HD's fault, however. It may be related to the other neurological troubles I have, but I can't really hide behind it whatever was the cause. "Oh, sorry for the misunderstanding. I'm not usually this much of a jerk. It's my disability." No, not the most comforting of sentiments.
A Rapier Wit
I won't bore you by detailing all the fires I singed my fanny on, but I can give you one example. My brother massforwarded a funny email to me and 43 of his closest friends. I let him know I didn't want that to happen again. Oh, I meant to be diplomatic, but he suggested in his reply that I could use some work on congeniality. That fire took several emails and a phone call to put out, and he wasn't even mad at me.
I do work on congeniality. But I'm a particular fellow. I like things just right. So I find being particular often is at loggerheads with being congenial. Unfortunately, when I mix sarcasm in congeniality goes out the window. Oh, I'm terribly clever. The Black Adder would be horribly proud of my wittiness. The trouble is we laugh at the Black Adder because the man says what we would never dream of saying in social situations. On weeks like this one, I dare to dream.
Sardonicism Alert: Go Back To Bed
What I'd like to have is some sort of klaxon alarm that warns me when I'm not quite as "witty" as usual and that perhaps I should park the sarcasm in the back for a spell. It could go off first thing in the morning the minute I look in the mirror. Then I'd know to return to bed for a while. On weeks like this what I think is sarcastic is actually sardonic. This was a week that called for kid gloves, not horseshoes. The end result is that I feel regret and embarrassment. I didn't start these fires, but I did pour gasoline on them instead of taking the higher path.
People with AD/HD do eventually learn to keep themselves in check when they become adults. You know what they say about practice. Well, I'm really good at putting out fires now. What depresses me most is that I didn't choose to make things worse. I honestly thought I was fixing the issue. The problem is that I was off neurologically. My sarcastic wit, which usually entertains, became a source of conflagration. I couldn't have made things worse if I had called these people up and called them synonyms for "moron" out of the thesaurus. I didn't call anybody names, of course, but I might as well have for all the good my "diplomacy" did me. The funny thing is that I feel much better today and know the problem is past. I'll probably hold off on the jokes for a little while, though, just to be sure.
What Do You Think?
So I'd really like to know. If you have AD/HD, have you ever had one of those weeks?
- Install klaxon
- Learn to recognize when I'm neurologically off and minimize contact with people until I can communicate better or just try to be as bland as possible. Too much spice spoils the sauce. The same goes for conversation.
- Treat my family to milk shakes. After this week they deserve it for putting up with me.