AD/HD: Short Cuts, Cunning Plans, and Other Great Ideas

In the spirit of Father's Day, I thought I'd begin this article with a story about my dad, the King of the Short Cut. It's not that all his "short cuts" are truly short cuts. It's just that he tries so many possible "short cuts" he gets lucky. Why does he risk being late or getting lost when he could take the tried and true approach each time? Because he has AD/HD and taking the same route each time is boring. Finding a new route to an old destination, especially a better, faster route, is the sort of thing that tickles his fancy. When he was a young man he had a job driving a delivery truck. He loved short cuts even then, but unfortunatley one of his "short cuts" backfired on him. Instead of saving time he made a terrible mistake. He drove the truck under a bridge with inadequate clearance. Jammed the truck in there nice and tight. I don't believe he kept the job long after that.

As they say, the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree and my own sordid history is filled with wonderful moments such as that one. I could never continue doing things the way they were supposed to for long. There was the time I was a paste up artist for a graphic design company on Cape Cod. I was given the classifieds section to work on and because I was bored with the straight line upon line format perfected by my grandfather's grandfathers I thought I'd shake things up a bit. It was the Eighties! Miami Vice! MTV! Text didn't lay down. It danced. Oh, what a classified ad I put together! My rather snarky editor took one look at it and yelped. That was a funny day. Well, I can laugh now. At the time I was too upset that my design went unappreciated and I had to paste the thing up as boring as possible.

Apparently, I am not alone in this. As I move along Hallowell and Ratey's Diagnostic Criteria for Attention Deficit Disorder in Adults I discovered that a lot of us share a common problem.

10. Trouble in going through established channels, following "proper" procedure.
Contrary to what one might think, this is not due to some unresolved problem with authority figures. Rather, it is a manifestation of boredom and frustration: boredom with routine ways of doing things and excitement around novel approaches, and frustration with being unable to do things the way they're "supposed" to be done.


By the time I was an adult I had to remind myself to keep my opinions to myself, but sometimes I just couldn't help it! The way they were doing things was so patently stupid I had to let them know. My bosses loved that. Not all AD/HD career mistakes are caused by foot-in-mouth disease or boredom, however. Sometimes we get an idea in our head that seems really good at the time but doesn't play out as we planned.

In college I had a part time job working for a comicbook store. It seemed the perfect job because I was doing a comic of my own. One night I worried that a story element was too similar to something Marvel Comics had done, so I let myself into the store at 2am and rifled through the back issues. So relieved was I that my story element was original that I rushed off to finish the art. Unfortunately, I left the store wide open, the flashlight on the counter, and the keys as well if I remember correctly. I was fired the next day. Proper protocol would have saved me from making that blunder. Instead, impulse ruled the night. I STILL don't laugh at that story. Very painful. It completely ruined my relationship with the owner who was a friend.

Of course, I can think of other degrading tales. I'm sure you have a few of your own where you had a really great, burning idea that flew in the face of procedure and came back to haunt you. Ruminating about it isn't going to make it go away, however. Instead, when dealing with school or work there are some things to keep in mind I've found very helpful.

  1. Learn their way of doing things first, even if you think you know a better way.
  2. Prove to them that you know how to do things their way. It's a game. I think it's stupid, too, but it works like magic.
  3. Nobody's going to like your new idea if they don't trust you.
  4. You may have to implement your new ideas by proxy through other people until you earn that trust.
  5. Prepare for that day by writing down all your great new ideas on paper.


As I got older I learned to rein in the impulses and follow procedure better. I learned when it was dangerous to take chances and when it was not. I still goofed up from time to time, though. There was that time I worked at Dillard's and made friends with all the store managers. They really liked me. Unfortunately, I made friends with upper management before befriending the assistant store manager over me. That had a nice outcome. He made me King of Pant Land. Ah, folding pants for hours on end. That was fun. So much for short cuts.


Comments

Soozcat said…
I love that phrase. "Oyez, oyez! Draw ye near and do obeisance before your lord and ruler, Doug, King of Pant Land!"

Of course, if you're not keen on that one, there are other possible titles to choose from:
The Denim Despot?
Czar of Chinos?
Twill Tyrant?
Or the ever popular Lord of the Pants?

Yeah, I know, King of Pant Land probably didn't even come with a dental plan. (There's a reason they call it Dullards.)
Jean Bauhaus said…
I worked at Dillard's for a time. Mainly in Women's Accessories but occasionally they sent me to cover the Juniors dept. Hours and hours folding and hanging clothes. It was like Groundhog Laundry Day.

Thanks for the flashbacks! ;p
slÖ said…
i stopped taking shortcuts, i'm exploring in circles now.
Sandra said…
As always, your stories are entertaining and relevant. I love your suggestions and will be passing them on. :)
D.R. Cootey said…
Soozcat ~ Ha! I called it "Dullards" all the time. It's an obvious pun but not one I heard used at all while I worked there. I did actually refer to myself as the Lord of the Pants. It was inevitable. LOL But the area was affectionately called "Pant Land" and calling myself "King of Pant Land" had symmetry. Thankfully I have no photos of me working in that area so I'm hoping that old age or senility will strike those memories from my mind over time.

jeaniemarie ~ Don't even get me started on SPH (sales per hour for the laymen out there). How did my manager expect me to make $135/hour in sales by selling pants while also being responsible for keeping towers and towers of pants properly sorted and folded!?! He didn't. I was obviously marooned and expected to quit or get fired. He wasn't a very nice guy. There was a reason I befriended EVERYBODY except him. ;)

slö ~ LOL You won't get anywhere exploring in circles except Dizzy! ;)

Sandra ~ Thank you. I'm glad somebody out there can benefit from the travesty that is my sorry little life. ;) Remember, kids. Don't try this at home.
D.R. Cootey said…
Oh, I forgot to mention that Pant Land was next to what I called "Plaid World". There is nothing like being expected to sell hundreds of dollars of plaid shirts every hour to bring bitter focus to your life. I was so motivated by that torturous experience that I immediately revamped my portfolio and landed a gig designing scrapbook papers. As you may know from earlier posts, I have often said that the Universe is out to get me. One of life's cruel but wry ironies is that I had to create papers with plaid designs.

~Douglas
OneCrazyMomma said…
Hi Douglas, I've checking out your blog for over a week now and am inviting you to check me out. You were inspirational to me to start blogging on my way out of another bout of depression. Thanks for putting your soul out there to help those of us not so far along on the road to self discovery. Amy
PS I love your artwork too.
Anonymous said…
~Douglas~
::sigh:: me have a problem with authority and usually think i know how best to do things!!!!
a very very bad combo..

one time, i tried to take a short-cut to the train station and almost walked into the next town, ten miles away..learned my lesson but it kinda stumped my spontaneity a lil bit.

can't decide which is worse in that sense, impulsivity or cynicism..

im sorry bout da comic shop incident. i'd kick myself in the behind too, but hey ur still here and no one stole stuff so..::grinz::
Scarlet Sphinx said…
Still have Cooteys I see. :}
Doug, this really resinates with me b/c I often feel bored with the status quo and proper procedure. It also makes it difficult to stick with one task or finish a large one. I often get called a scatterbrain, too.
Plaid world, huh? Isn't paisley world on the other side of that?
*shudders*
Heidi the Hick said…
If it was plaid flannel I'd be okay with it.

All I know is, I don't think I'll ever be able to work for anybody else. I can't follow directions. I used to think it was from falling off my pony so many times and landing on ma haid....
D.R. Cootey said…
One Crazy Momma ~ Thanks for the kind words, Amy. I checked out your blog the other day. Looking good! I may drop by today to leave a comment. So many blogs about depression are depressing. They roll around in the inky dark and glorify their suicidalness. I find it a touch troubling. As long as you keep your outlook upbeat you'll find your blog entries won't ever dip into areas that will embarrass you later. Unless, of course, you are like me and masochistically enjoy mocking yourself in public. That albino in The Da Vinci Code has nothing on us bloggers! LOL

Sol ~ I pick cynicism as being worse. At least with impulsiveness you can laugh off the worst of it if you have a healthy outlook. Cynicism robs us of hope. I, of course, am a raving cynic, but that doesn't stop me from loudly declaring it a very bad attitude! ;)

ScarletSphinx ~ Fortunately, paisley was NOT a print in vogue for men at the time. :D

Well, hang in there. We can all be scatterbrained to some degree. But if we train ourselves to keep coming back to the list of important deeds to complete we can eventually succeed.

Heidi the Hick ~ I wouldn't rule out the pony scenario. :p

I'm looking forward to my youngest being a bit older when I can start focusing on my career again in earnest. But I'm fairly busy being a fulltime Dad. I just worry that my chiildren (my oldest is 14) will one day soon surpass me.

Thanks for your comments, everyone. Please keep them coming.

~Doug!as
Anonymous said…
Douglas ~ funny u should say that. past 6 years i have watched as hope trickled through the fingers

..thankfully, not any more.
D.R. Cootey said…
Sol ~ I'm glad to hear you've got a grasp on hope. I've lived life without hope before and it was my most unhappiest time on this Earth. Well, second only to High School. :)

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