A Splintered Mind

As evidence that I have ADHD I present the following list. It was written for Thanksgiving, our American holiday we celebrated last Thursday. It's all thankfullie and sentimental, something we allow ourselves to be during the holidays without feeling the slightest bit silly. Then I forgot about it and wrote my "month trying to write a novel" post instead, which I dutifully posted on time - even early - even though November wasn't finished yet and neither was my novel! Then, later Thanksgiving Day, as I sat and tried to convince my stomach I hadn't eaten too much, I remembered the REAL Thanksgiving Day Thursday Thirteen. But it was too late. People had already started commenting on my novel list. So here is the original Thanksgiving list. Today is not a holiday and the list feels overly cloying and sentimental. Funny how holidays have their own separate realities. Still, I am determined to print this list because not only have I already taken time to write it but m...

Thirteen Thoughts About My Month Trying To Write A Novel It's harder than I thought it would be. Writing a column for this blog is often as easy as talking for me. I just choose a topic and start recording my thoughts. I'm often left with hundereds of words in excess. But writing a novel is slower and more detailed. I find myself constantly stopping to contemplate the various elements of novels from character motivation to setting and pacing. I trust in time, however, I will find my voice and the process will improve. I don't know my story as well as I thought I did. I was so worried that I'd spend my strength and lose the passion before I was ready to write that I never allowed myself to get too specific about plot elements in my mind. Character profiles and settings, yes. Overall plot, yes. Chapter by chapter plot? Nope. My brain recoils from boring tasks. I knew that already, but I didn't realize how it related to writing. Now I do. Ooh so intimately......

Just a quick entry today. I was doing research on Eastern Coyotes in the Cape Cod region this morning and came across a great online resource by Dr. Jonathan Way. Besides liking how he spelled his name (which is how I spell a character of mine's name) his site was filled with photos of coyotes in their "natural" habitat. I became puzzled and frustrated, however, when I discovered his site hadn't been updated in over a year. Then I discovered the reason. According to this entry in July 2005, hunters were using his research information to stake out his trap sites so they could bag coyotes. Unbelievable. I've known a few people who look forward to deer hunting season because they stock up on meat for their family, but people don't eat coyotes. So killing one would be just for the thrill of it. Frankly, I don't see the challenge. Anybody who wants to wait by a humane trap to shoot an approaching animal has something wrong with him. Also of interest was the ...

Two articles for you to consider while I pound away at my novel's backstory. One is a peak inside how I deal with disability over at The Absentminded Bookshelf , and the other is contributed by guest blogger and good friend, Soozcat. Both focus on personal responsibility being the best medicine for self improvement. If depression is a genetically heritable trait (and there is some research to indicate that it is), I've got it coming at me from at least three directions. There's a long history of depression and other illnesses, both mental and physical, on both sides of my family. My dad's ancestors were quiet, melancholy Southern men who tended to drink themselves to death. On my mom's side, one of my great-grandfathers was a roaring drunken Swede who used to come home in the wee hours and vomit on the kitchen floor just before he passed out; another one, my Dutch great-grandpa who died before I was born, passed away in a mental hospital. As my auntie the nurse used...

For some time I have referred to an epiphany I had last Spring. It was as transformative to my thought processes as I could have prayed for, and although I have not been free to implement the changes as rapidly as I would have liked, I still have steadily worked to alter my life in the new direction. It was such a stunning realization that I labeled it an "Elepiphanty". I assure you that it is far better than that tortured pun. I had hoped to write about the epiphany here in this blog, but I never seemed to find the time to commit to a long writing session. Truth be told, I was bored thinking about re-contemplating my navel after I had already done so already. I was more interested in new ideas and new epiphanies than explaining anew old ones. This doesn't mean I have put the epiphany out of mind. I refer to it all the time to help keep myself on track. You see, I recorded it in my journal. I realize this might seem odd to some people, but I am compelled to write pe...

Thirteen things you probably didn't know about me. As pursuant most End User Legal Agreements, you hereby waive your right to think less of me because you're already reading this. I detest plaid, find partisan bickering tiresome, and think the F-word is better left unsaid. When I was 11 years old I used to script Star Wars plays with my brothers and friends and record them as "radio" dramas. I was a DJ on my High School radio station and I am a Ham radio operator now (KD7GBP - the world's hardest to understand call letters) When I was a teenager I used to call my friend from a pay phone when he was staying in Mexico and charge it to the pay phone next to me. I'm easily distracted. Wait. You knew that already. I've been to 44 States. Still left to visit: North & South Dakota, Montana, Alaska, Hawaii, and Louisiana. When I was 19 & 20 I used a fake ID to go clubbing for bands, but never purchased alcohol. I like black licorice, cloves,...

I stayed up late last night to work out final details on a logo for a client. I've been very excited to work on this assignment. The client, Mindy, is my daughter's former singing instructor. What a busy lady she is. She has a dance studio in her basement with over a hundred students. Has over 30 students for singing instruction, she's involved with local productions, and she just picked up a gig as the Cheetah Girls vocal coach. Somewhere in there she finds time to raise her son. Frankly, I don't know how she does it, but I aimed to find out. That's why this assignment is so important to me. I want a peek into her busy world to see how she juggles it all. The problem is that Home Schooling has taken a greater toll on my time than I had anticipated. I've also had bout after bout with viruses. I'm so blasted sick all the time. And nevermind all the downtime because of my tic disorder. These events have drawn out this assignment longer than I feel comfortab...

Thirteen Reasons Why ADHD ROCKS! I can come up with a new idea about every five minutes! My impatience and restlessness turns every drive to work into the Indianapolis 500 . I still remember with relish those halcyon days of my youth where I was learning to drive and my father held onto the car seat for dear life, stomping on the "brake" in the passenger seat. Don't worry, Dad. My oldest is up for her driver's permit in five months. You'll finally have your revenge. Since I'm so forgetful, my wife let's me buy nifty, but very expensive electronic Personal Digital Assistants to keep track of everything! Cool! They play MP3s, too! Not that I need them for that. I have an iPod which I talked my wife into letting me buy because it would help me tune out background noise and increase productivity. My children can discover the elemental power of volcanoes up close and personal because "Mount Vesuvius" erupts whenever the noise levels g...

If you judged my progress from my NaNoWriMo widget on  The Splintered Mind you'd think I wasn't making much progress. The truth is, however, that much of my work has been on backstory and background details. I jot notes in my Moleskine, add details to my book project, and add a bit here and there to the first chapter. You see, I discovered I didn't know my story as well as I thought I did. I found the tiniest of holes in my knowledge. Two of them, actually. One I've filled, the other is still swallowing dumptrucks and 18 wheelers. Once I figure that part out I'm sure it'll be easy sailing until I find the next pot hole in my world. In the meantime, I'm not worried about it, and neither should you. Enjoy this interesting link from Italy I found to my ADHD blog . Not a big deal, but nifty nonetheless because I am Italian. The translation is iffy, but apparently he finds I give shining personal reflections without the pretentious air of Academia.  Which ...

I tried to open my front door with my car's remote fob today. I actually didn't realize anything was amiss with what I was doing until I heard the car unlock behind me. At least I had a good laugh.

I don't want to go into what a harrowing day was to-day. I really have other things to write. Not here, but in my novel. Let's just say that my girls have kept me busy. So busy that my mother worried if something had happened to us because we were gone so long. B was on a movie set all day as an extra. C had dance classes to teach, L had dance lessons to receive, and A just ran around like the five year old whirlwind she is. Of course, I was their chauffeur driving from Bountiful to Draper to Midvale and back. They've been so busy these past two days that not one of them has thought to ask me how my novel is coming. Not even my wife. She's busy working hard — two jobs — and training for a test with the Post Office this Saturday. I don't want you to think that I'm complaining, but it is a bit disheartening. My decision to work on NaNoWriMo was not made lightly. You see, I have these big meetings with my family so we can all be aware of each other's big pr...

Since I'm embarking on a month long project to write a novel, I can't post my usual columns every week and still meet the 50,000 word goal for November. Instead, I'm going to post these "Thursday Thirteen" entries. I've prepared most of them before November so that I can post them on schedule every Thursday at 1pm MST. The point of Thursday Thirteen is to let you, the reader, learn more about me. Today I introduce you to my black sense of humor, developed over years of struggling with the blackest of moods, and bound to offend someone somewhere. I ran these all by my 11 & 14 year old daughters as a safeguard, however, and they approve. They even found them funny. This means that either I'm worrying about nothing again, or I have horribly bent my sweet children. Thirteen Reasons Why I Imagine Depression Could Be a Good Thing It helps me seem really sensitive when I'm watching chick flicks with my wife. Nobody ever has to tell me to not get my hope...