AD/HD Kids Universally Hated By Parents
One and a half weeks ago I put out a call for comments over at What Do You Like About Your AD/HD Kid?. It was my intention to collate all the loving anecdotes I received into a comprehensive article on the benefits of having AD/HD children. To this date, not one parent has replied. Not even my Mum.
Of course, I already knew she didn't like me. What I didn't realize was that AD/HD kids were globally loathed, despised, and detested by other parents. This has come as quite a shock. I assumed somewhere a loving, benevolent Cliff Huxtable-like father smiled patiently upon his sweet, little, whirling dervish as a gift from God. Now I know better.
Fortunately for my article's sake, I have an AD/HD child. She hasn't been officially diagnosed, but you know what they say about ducks. Let me show you folks how this is done.
Dang. This is harder than it looks. This is going to be one short article...
Thirteen Things I Love About My AD/HD Daughter
- Her delightfully wild imagination. She currently expresses herself through art, role play, and book making. She is a joy to watch at play.
- Her highly developed sense of humor and infectious laughter. She got this joke and laughed for hours over it. I sometimes forget she's only eight years old.
- Her entertaining spontaneity - especially her varied and animated facial expressions.
- I get a kick out of how her mouth forms words faster than her brain and how that leads to very funny statements, especially when she makes up words or gets sayings jumbled up. I still use a word she invented when she was five to express disappointment. "Oh, crubbage!"
- I yearn for her boundless energy. I could use some hyperactivity in my world right now.
- I love how feisty and confident she can be.
- I admire her physical prowess and coordination. Although coordination is not something all AD/HD people in general have, some do as is the case with my daughter and two of my brothers. Coupled with boundless energy and their fighting spirit they are fearsome athletes. My daughter's specialty is Irish Step Dancing. My daughter closely resembles my brother, Ryan, in this regard and helps me feel as if he is still with us.
- She's very trusting so I love teasing her. I never grow tired of it. She's gets so mad - her whole face explodes.
- She's very competitive so it doesn't take long after I've teased her before she's trying to get even. Give her a few years and I'll definitely have something to worry about.
- One aspect of L's AD/HD that I really like is her intelligence. Although this aspect can become lost amidst her more toxic and negative behaviors, her expansive vocabulary for her age and quick wit truly display her fantastic potential.
- Her incredible likability. Oh, how I envy this little talent of hers. She's so sure of herself and empathic to others that she makes fast friends wherever she goes. She's far too intense to sit in the background long. If it weren't for her compassionate nature I would worry that I have a Queen Bee in the making.
- Her admiration of me. I realize all my daughters thought the world of me when they were younger (and still do, knock on wood) but there is something different in the way L looks up to me. It's more intense - that AD/HD intensity no doubt - and most likely born of the fact we are kindred spirits. I understand her difficulties and that has created an amazing bond between us.
- Lastly, I really enjoy her sense of wonder. This quality makes her very much like myself and gives me a kindred spirit in our home. She is delighted by the same things I am from cereal box prizes and electronic gadgets to the subtle change of hues in the sky. She loves going hiking in the mountains with me, finding all the flora and fauna just as fascinating as I do. Although all my daughters find my world fascinating, it is through L that I can best see the world through her eyes as I would see it.
Now, that wasn't so hard to do. Please take a few moments and list a few qualities you enjoy about your AD/HD child. There don't have to be thirteen of them. I realize you don't like your children THAT much. Leave comments here or over at What Do You Like About Your AD/HD Kid?. Thanks for reading.
If you blog, please tell me thirteen things about yourself and link it here. Oh, and try to refrain from linking here if you don't have a Thursday Thirteen post. I'll just end up removing your link.
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Comments
I feel your love for your daughter in every word!
I know it was a problem for my daughter when she wanted to do things and I would be taking her to do several things all at once.
I wasn't labeled with learning disabilities till I was older...so I watched for signs when she was growing up...and had a lot of patience for her creative behaviour.
I actually like being ADHD and use it to multi-task...although I also practice meditiation to help me focus, fall asleep etc.
I also make sure to limit my activites if possible during each day and write a list and consider the order I will accomplish things. I also avoid sugars including many general carbs liek bread and potaotes,noodles as they enhance concentration problems.
Great list Douglas and thanks for visiting my blog today. I am sorry you have trouble helping your children focus on the philosophical aspects of Easter.
I think sometimes when children are having fun with opening easter eggs or looking at their chocolates...it's a good time to surprise them with conversation...like the idea of rebirth and spring and what it means to you. We can have disappoints in life and set backs...but part of the metaphor of rebirth and Easter is that we can rest and then go back to another approach rethinking things...?
Basically take the metaphor to their direct experience of the world...that will grab their attention...ask them what they think about Easter and rebirth, resurection political legal punishments for freethinking/ideas etc...what ever level of wording they might grab onto?
Hope that helps
Candy
Great list!
She sounds like a terrific girl and it sounds like you're raising her up right.
Thanks for visiting West of Mars! I hope you'll come back again!
Joely ~ Keep those erasers away from her! My oldest daughter somehow stuffed an Easter candy wrapper up her nose when she was in first grade. We had to visit the pediatric clinic to get it out. So odd impulsive behavior isn't limited to AD/HD kids. They just happen to do more of it! LOL
Samulli ~ I hope you still feel that way even though I'm a Dad. :)
Blue ~ Glad to hear it. They'll keep you on your toes. They'll need your love.
Rene ~ Thanks. You'd be surprised, though. Notice the LACK of parents commenting on the previous post, though. I have over 2000 people visit my blog a month and not one has left a comment listing what they like about their AD/HD child.
Candy ~ Thanks for your comments. In the future I should warn you. I have a sense of humor and tend to be cheeky. So, that comment about jelly beans and chocolate was said tongue in cheek, not that there was a lot of room for the tongue in there what with all that candy! :)
SciFiChick ~ Thanks. Do you have AD/HD kids? Could you elaborate? I'm getting desperate here.
~Douglas
Here's the response I posted on Frigga's site. I think it summed up my feelings succinctly and I am running out of TT time for today. Need to get back to homeschooling my AD/HD child who just dragged her hair through salsa, riled up her 5 year old sister, got water on her Harry Potter book, ran outside every time the door was opened, and all while she was supposed to be reading. She's not easily distracted and hyper. She's perfectly normal. Just like her older non-AD/HD sisters who are quietly working on their schoolwork. It's all in my imagination. ;)
***
...Thanks for posting on my TT. I disagree strongly with you since I have AD/HD myself. My list was not a laundry list of AD/HD attributes but of qualities I loved about my daughter who has AD/HD. Those were qualities I imagine any child could have. The same could be said of AD/HD. The defining qualities of AD/HD could be found in any children. It is the intensity of those qualities - and their resultant disfunction - that set AD/HD children apart from others.
~Douglas
I've just added you as a regular TT haunt. Thanks for posting.
John ~ Haha! We'll have to wait for her to turn into a teenager before this will embarrass her. :) Thanks for commenting.
~Douglas
None of my children have been diagnosed with ADHD, although I suspect my son may have just a touch of ADD without the H. My husband probably does,too, but again, no diagnosis. But I grew up with an ADHD brother, although back then they just called it "hyper" and gave him Ritalin. It helped him get through the school day although he says now he hated taking it and hated the way it made him feel. He was very bright but never did well in school because he didn't fit the mold. He heard the beat of a different drummer. He finally dropped out as a senior, but went to night school a few years later and did very well. Now he has gone back to college and is graduating with honors next month. So I guess my take on this is that not all children can do well on the same schedule and track as everyone else, but don't give up hope. Their time will come.
As a homeschool mom, I can see how homeschooling would be a good option for a child with ADHD. You can tailor your teaching to their learning style without having to worry about the other 30 kids in the class.
~Leslie
Thanks for your list. It was wonderful and reminded me of the many things I love about my son.
We're a homeschooling family and it works for us. We tailer teaching to each of our children's style of learning. Our oldest two graduated last year and are attending college. So right now, I only homeschool three of them.
Oh, seems like we have a little in common. You have a neurological disability, I have a brain disorder... chiari malformation 2 and hydrocephalus. I've had two brain surgeries. You wouldn't believe some of the things people have said to me. Well, I think you would. LOL!
Oh, I read some of the other comments. Regarding getting the children ready for Easter. Three weeks before Easter, I start doing Easter activities. I'll read books, print our crossword puzzles, read certain scriptures, do word searches, bake some goods to give to others (keeps some too), and other activities. That helps my children get ready for Easter. Their Easter baskets are usually filled with Christ centered stuff. Like a Christian cd, t-shirt, necklace, or a book they've been wanting. Oh and of course some candy. :o)
Hope you have a blessed weekend!
Reading your thirteen made me feel really good about myself. I saw a lot of the qualities that you talked about in myself; things I always really liked about myself, but have always felt were under-appreciated by most people.
Reading your 13 made me feel guilty, too. As a person with ADD and knowing how very difficult it can be to keep up with society's demands as they are, I try very hard to not let my son get lost in his ADD - to keep him on track to make ADD less of a burden to him. In the process, I think fail to celebrate the awesome side to having ADD as much as I should. I am that person that is under-appreciating those great qualities that come with ADD.
The things I love about my kid with ADD:
1) His resilience. I don't know if it is because he is persistently optimistic, or he just forgets things so easily - but even if he has a total meltdown, give him a moment and it is like it never happened. He's like a human etch-a-sketch!
2) His gift at word play. He is always pushing the literary envelope. He's not satisfied to leave words and phrases alone. He wants to see all the possibilities that he can pull from them. And he is often making up his own words to better express himself when the language that we currently speak fails him.
3) His sense of humor. I don't know what I would do with a kid that didn't have a good sense of humor!
4) His sense of wonder and the way that he doesn't even think twice about getting excited about things. I believe you start to get old when you quit being excited about life.
5) His intelligence. We can actually have very meaningful conversations - have been able to since he was 4!
6) His sensitivity. His senses are very acute. He appreciates particular fabrics, foods, sounds, colors, and scents in a way that most people just don't. He is also very sensitive emotionally; he will watch news stories about people he doesn't even know and cry for the people that were hurt. I know that he will be able to appreciate so much in life and be a good person to people because of this sensitivity.
7) I always felt a little alone in these things, but with him in my life, I feel that there is someone else who gets it. And I hope that I am that for him, too.
My ADD daughter is positively irrepressible. I love that about here. She's also very experimental. I got her an electronics experiment kit and she comes up with wonderful things!
It sounds like yours is wonderful!
We love our children no matter what is wrong with them.
Terrific Thursday Thirteen!
My TT is posted.
Have a wonderful day!
Happy TT'ing!
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Raggedy
Thanks for visiting my site and thanks for a great TT,