Brick Walls In Your Way?

Today I learned of Randy Pausch, a Carnegie Mellon University computer-science professor. He has recently been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and has only a few months to live. This made his turn at his University's "Last Lecture" series more poignant than academic. He is 46 years old and compared to me light years ahead as far as life's accomplishments. That's what focus, determination, and passion does for one. Instead of feeling inferior, however, I was moved by what I read. Even inspired. I immediately got up and got busy.
The money quote for me was during his comments on facing rejection. He described them as brick walls.
"Brick walls are there for a reason. They let us prove how badly we want things."
I let those brick walls smack me right in the face and knock me down when I was in my early twenties. Just before I became disabled I had many close calls with magazines when trying to land illustration work. Instead of pressing on, however, I let those rejections feed my insecurities. I gave up and set off on a different direction. Each time. Ah, AD/HD. Gotta love it. Always there to lend a hand with distractions to keep my mind off what I should be doing instead.
I have often wondered what I would be like if I had taken those rejections in stride instead of becoming dejected. Maybe I wouldn't have sought medical help for my AD/HD. I wouldn't have been medicated for Depression and AD/HD then broken because of side-effects. I would have been too busy working doing what I love to bother with psychiatric couches and magic pills.
By the time I was 25 it was too late. I was disabled with Chronic Motor Tic Disorder, raging Depression, and had to stay home to take care of the kids while my wife became the bread winner. I then became more depressed and crawled inside myself for years. Only when I passed 30 did I start to crawl out of the hole. 33, 36, and 40 were the next pivotal years. Now I am here a few months away from 41 and wondering how I could have let myself lose so much time. Those brick walls sure knocked me on my butt.
I learned to scale those walls some time ago. The first walls were made of disabilities and my attitudes about them. Now I'm focused more on career than just living day to day as I used to be. Line upon line. Precept upon precept, I slowly master myself and become stronger. You can find the same success, too. Don't wait for tomorrow. Get busy scaling those brick walls today.
Well, my 12 year old has waited long enough. She's a cutey and I don't want to disappoint her. Keep those brick walls in mind. They are there to challenge you. How badly do you want your goals? Aren't they worth the scuffs and scrapes from a few brick walls? Put your fears behind you and leave them in the distant past. Instead, set goals and work towards them. You may not find instant success, but you will find satisfaction and joy in the process. That's where I am today with my goals. I know that one day I will announce success, but for now I am happy just to keep trying.
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Comments
It's me again; lonely Cambridge girl. I found this blog entry so damn inspiring and true. You'll be pleased to know that everything seems on the up for me at the moment and I feel so much better again now.
I'll keep scaling those brick walls that appear ahead of me and next time I feel like it's too big a problem for me to overcome, I'll think about getting some ropes and climbing over the wall.
As always, your blog has made me feel nothing is impossible.
Hope your daughter enjoyed the movie!
22 year old Cambridge girl.
xx
I am exhausted, overwhelmed, frustrated, and ready to give up, but God always sends someone like you with something like this to pull me up and over the wall (only to find a new one tomorrow!!).
Here's to you, and your positive attitude, that keeps me going through the labor, hoping for the fruit of the harvest someday!
Claire
Thanks so much for keeping us focused on what we can do, not our limitations.
john@storiedmind.com
Love your work. Thanks for following the trail back. :)
Hey, I just got an idea. I wonder how I'd feel about that blank page if I just marked the stupid thing so it wasn't blank anymore? You know, on days I'm feeling intimidated. I could draw a random mark on the paper and it wouldn't be blank anymore. I think I'll try that tonight. Seems gimmicky, but it might do the trick.
I'm glad you're scaling walls in your own life. Life is only full of setbacks if we let those walls stop us in our tracks.
(My daughter *DID* enjoy the movie. Thanks!)
Claire ~ Well, you just missed the Harvest Moon. Darn. That means you have another year of mind-numbing hardship ahead of you. Tough break. :p
Nah, it's a good thing we don't need to wait for harvest season to see the fruit of our labor. Try and remind yourself at night of the good things you accomplished during the day to keep your spirits up and to fill you with hope for the next day. Being optimistic isn't trying to convince ourselves that bad things are good. It is trying to remind ourselves of the good when we're encountering the bad. Good luck and thanks for reading.
John ~ Thanks for commenting and welcome to the blog.
It is sad how our insecurities, moods, and psyche can hold us back from achieving the things we are capable of. We lose so much time to just dealing with our issues, don't you agree? But as you point out, it's never too late so we might as well get started now. Good luck with your endeavors and thanks for giving me hope that I might have mental acuity such as yours when I hit my 60's. With luck I'll have been published by then, but at the rate I'm going I may take 20 years... :)