Keeping Things Sane
One way I keep Depression at bay in my life is to get out and do things in the sunlight, in public, and nowadays that usually involves me driving somewhere. Years ago, however, I would be lucky if I could convince myself to take a walk around the neighborhood. I simply wouldn't go anywhere. Depression was like a dark blanket I kept on me at all times. I hid under it. I was constricted by it. I defined my entire world by it.When I began peeking my head outside a bit more, I would allow myself to take trips. I would use these trips as a form of medicine. I wouldn't necessarily think, "Gosh, I'm feeling pretty down. I think I'll take a quick trip to Pakistan," but I would deliberately get out of the house to lift my spirits. Maybe to a bookstore or a movie. Maybe to a park. Usually very late at night when not another soul was awake.
Late night walks can be wonderful for clearing the head, wrestling with moral dilemmas, and working complicated decisions out loud, but they didn't always lift my spirits. And the darkness had its limits. I couldn't, for instance, pull out my sketchbook and draw in the dark.
For that I needed to embrace the light.
These days I love going for rides during the day to clear my head, and I especially love exploring new places in nature. In the past few years I have discovered Capital Reef, the Temple Quarry trail, Guardsman Pass, Antelope Island, and other wonderful places within Utah. It is a transition I am glad I made.
This week I discovered Creekside Park.Creekside Park may not be as geologically fascinating as a trip to Bryce National Park, but there is much to explore there. The park is a dedicated Frisbee Golf course, and large portions of it have been allowed to grow wild to a degree. I was really quite taken with it.
I invite you to check out my photos of the trip. I only have an iPhone to snap shots with, so they aren't art, but I taught my remaining homeschooled daughter a bit about design, framing, and contrast.
Afterwards, as I drove us home, I mused about how far I had come compared to the miserable hermit I used to be. I am very relieved that I learned how to think more positively and live more boldly than I had in the past.
Life is good.
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Comments
Afterwards 'The Build Up' of the house.
-Jestutripup
Fairy ~ I'm really glad to hear that. I had several therapists claim I was bipolar, but I never quite fit the full criteria. Even if I was bipolar, I'd still be sitting here with a hypersensitivity to medications and disabilities because of side-effects from taking those meds. I'd still be miserable. Fortunately, I retrained my mind so that I can manage this aspect of my life.
Ticking, on the other hand, I can't make go away. Today, in fact, has been lousy with it. I don't let myself get depressed, however. I've got to keep on top of it.
Nature is wonderful at rejuvenating the mind and soul. I'm glad you've found relief as well.
Great comments, both of you! Thanks for posting.
~Douglas
I'm a 60 year old male who is in excellent physical health aside from having little problems like difficulty peeing and digesting food. Those problems are relatively easy to live with.
I have a job at a successful family owned business that requires no brains or ability and pays me well. I have it only from sympathy because I am such a bust out.
I have lots of women to go out with although no one to love other then my grown children who I am close to.
There has been a wonderful, beautiful, intelligent lady in my life for decades who I love and loves me with all her heart and soul and watches over me even though she is with another man. Most importantly, she listens to me endlessly agonize to her about this excuse for a life I lead without ever losing patience.
I have withdrawn from everything else except to enjoying only writing because it allows me to escape from the utterly hopeless, helpless, desperate, directionless feeling of emptiness and nowhere to go in this life that I constantly feel.
I am really not a writer but it's theraputic and free and I have this gamblers dream that I will catch on somewhere even though I cannot even figure out how to put links in my blog.
So, here I sit, alone at 2.30 a.m. in my little apartment, a victim of my own addictions to drugs, gambling, women, and wildness which has caused me to become an alien in my own world. My lifelong desire for action action action has reduced me to mental immobility. I fear I am finished.
David. S
tttboss@aol.com
blog-cashguy1111.blogspot.com
Elli ~ Kind words. Thank you. I hope to see you around more often.
David ~ That's a heart wrenching entry. I see you've cross posted it on your blog and Booksie. I hope you get feedback from it.
You may never wander back over here so I won't bother leaving you advice. But I'll give you my best wishes. Chin up. Think positive. Set three goals for yourself and work towards them. Sometimes I find that really helps me move forward when Depression tries to hold me back.
But there I go giving advice...
~Douglas