I use a Twitter client called Twitterrific to keep me posted on the people I follow. I had set it to only update once an hour — you know, to give myself a fighting chance — but even that was too frequent. Instead of focusing on rewrites for "The Secret Life of My Cat, Sneakers" (a picture book I have previously finished but am rewriting), I saw a news update that said something about Miley Cyrus being sued for $4 billion by angry Asians.
I was weak.
A half hour later I knew all about this recent hiccup in 16 year old Miley's non-stop flight to Laughingstock City. Hanging out with her 20 year old boyfriend, Miley mugged for the camera, following the example of these other stalwart twentysomething members of society. Why Mum & Dad let Miley hang out at twentysomething parties where alcohol is served is another question. Instead of posing half naked for the camera as she has done in the past, Miley just made an Asian face, just like little kids tend to do.
Some might blame the adults in the room, like Miley's boyfriend, sitting there in his work uniform, but it can't be Justin Gaston. Dad has said "He is a great guy, a really talented guy". Others might blame the asian guy sitting in the front of the photo for not putting people in their place. Instead, the asian community blames Miley.
The OCA, "an organization dedicated to advancing the social, political and economic well-being of Asian Pacific Americans in the U.S." is demanding an apology despite there being an Asian in the photo. So Miley apologized with the fetchingly sensitive statement, "I was simply making a goofy face. When did that become newsworthy?" Since that didn't go over well she followed up with a better apology. However, somebody in the asian community must have been inspired by the OCA's stance on economic well-being because they've recently filed a class action lawsuit against the young girl.
You see, despite the room being filled with legal, responsible twentysomethings, Miley is the one worth millions of dollars, and now she's being sued for $4 billion of them. I'm sure there's a problem with the math there, but if your name is Lucie J. Kim and you claim to represent one million Asian Pacific Islanders, you've got to make sure there's room for your payout after the lawyers get through with things.
And that's my morning distraction.
Twitterrific has now been beaten, lashed, and terminated. Instead of getting upset with myself, I turned my experience into a mildly informative — perhaps even entertaining — article, and I am now getting back to work.
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