A Splintered Mind

I'm not going to complain. It was a productive day considering the chaos that went on in my kitchen. The problem is the toll it had on me. Let me explain. I'm not a creature of habit as much as I wish, but I have trained myself to write at the kitchen table. When I sit there to work, I don't wander off to watch TV or traipse into the living room to find a good book. I work. I write blogs, articles, and novels on my MacBook at the kitchen table. I do design and coding on my Mac mini in the studio. I even have different apps installed on each machine. It works for me. Sometimes I succumb to the siren call of HTML and click on certain links. You know the kind. Hot, steamy, sticky news links. The more revealing & controversial the better. As entertaining as that can be, it doesn't help me get anything done. So I got all geeky on my hosts file last night and locked myself out of my favorite news sites for today's writing session. I was going to pounce on that ADDabo...

I wasn't able to make all my goals . I'm afraid micromanaging children then ticking got in my way. Still, I'm happy I did this. I knew I was biting off more than I could chew, but the challenge pushed me and made me want to taste the success. There is still time to my evening, but I need to wind down to preserve my sleep schedule. I'll post a new list tomorrow for another high stakes game of public failure or success. One last thing. It is with great relief that I can write that I mailed the contract off. They mailed it to me almost one month ago. I didn't realize how long it had been. Yes, I've been sick and neurologically offline a lot, but three weeks? I forgot to check my mail, got the contract but lost it, then found it days later only to forget about it for five days. Then I couldn't find my old contract to transcribe the addendum onto the new contract. What a fiasco—like a clown circus complete with pies and seltzer water. Do you think it's too so...

Ah, Spring is in the air. And eyes. My eyes, specifically. They feel as if they've been coated with Vaseline's new Beach Sand & Jalepeño lotion. Thankfully, I have learned the wonderfully soothing balm of eye rinses and Claritin D. My problem today is that I forgot to take the Claritin D. ADHD is murder on healthcare. Despite moving through tar filled vats of sluggish apathy, I managed to write today in #snkrz . Not too soon after I decided that I just had to write the thing and stop rewriting chapter one, I found a flaw that required a rewrite of chapter one. I worked on that today, fleshed out new conversations, and finally felt the story start to gel. It was a good day. I feel, however, that it could have been a better day if I wasn't so sick and out of it all the time. I spend an awful lot of time being sick. In fact, I haven't left my home since Saturday . There is a chance my new CPAP is still trying to kill me . I'll up the back pressure tonight to see i...

I recently discovered the TV series “Peter Gunn” . Although there are a few dated episodes in there with beatniks, I mean, really dated, man, but are we ever truly dated? Aren’t we all ageless? You, me, the world…all just one big trip going round and round… Sorry. I was feeling the moment. Although there are a few dated episodes in there, the storytelling stands up well to today’s standards, making me realize how cutting edge the show was when it aired in 1959. From stark lighting to dramatic camera angles, visually the show is stunning to watch. Blake Edwards gave 1959 TV audiences film noir in weekly half hour installments. The jazz score by Henry Mancini adds to the memorable experience as well. It’s a top quality soundtrack that had me contemplating buying an old LP off Amazon. What stands out for me in the show is the dialog—classic savvy Hollywood dialog in that scripted way that isn’t real, but you wish was. It’s a form of dialog you generally only find in detective shows or Hu...

ADDaboy! Of all the things that could have happened to me in a speedo while lying by a pool next to a cute, blonde girl, this will probably seem harmless, but it sure made an impression upon the blonde. When we hooked up years later on Facebook this was one of the first things she told me. The other was, "About that $50 you owed me…" ADHD Memories in Brief She and I were chatting by the poolside when I decided to drop my shorts… ADHD in action. Enjoy!

What is it they say about how life comes in threes? Oh, yeah. "Life comes in threes." I'm glad I looked that up. It was so much more complicated than I remembered. I've moved from illness to new CPAP fatigue to seasonal allergies and I haven't even left the state. So much excitement right here in Utah. I wouldn't mention it except for the fact that this is supposed to be a blog about writing, and so far it's a blog about how I don't write. I'd like to change that today. Truly, deeply… Here's what I'm going to do. As Dan Willis mentioned to me on Tuesday, I have ADD like a puppy. It's alright. He's an author. They like to use similes. Besides, I enjoyed the imagery of seeing my attention romp about with its tongue wagging too much to be offended. Anyways, what was I saying? Right. Here's what I'm going to do. First, I'm laying down an edict to my kids. No TV today. I need it serene and quiet. Murder and mayhem will be o...

I attended Karen Hoover's book launch party tonight. Her book, The Sapphire Flute , now resides on my bookshelf awaiting my eager eyes. I workshopped a chapter of this book in Brandon Sanderson's WIFYR class two years ago. I remember liking it, so I'm looking forward to seeing how Karen has tightened and improved the writing. I also had a chance to catch up with author Dan Willis. We used to be neighbors and even worked on a start-up game company together in the early 90s. As he mentioned tonight, I am usually busy when we bump into each other. This time it was a pleasure to have a leisurely conversation with him from politics to book business. Dan's three books are out of print now due to downsizing at Wizards of the Coast. I was sincerely disappointed for him. I am constantly surprised how little I am threatened by the success of other authors. In fact, seeing Karen's book come to life, and hearing Dan talk about his fourth book, invigorated me. I...

There are really only a few things I accomplished this week. I spent my mornings with my newly graduated eighteen year old, spent the afternoons driving kids about, and spent the time in between being sick & exhausted. It all started when I replaced my CPAP with a bright, shiney new one on Tuesday. The old one was ten years old and occasionally failing. One would think that I would be happy. Unfortunatley, it appeared that my new CPAP was trying to kill me. Oh, I know it's supposed to help me breathe, but it was doing the polar opposite. Perhaps I offended it in a previous life when I was incarnated as a tempermental electrical outlet. All I know is that I'm waking up each morning feeling like I have been scaling a glass building all night long with nothing but a suction cup and my tongue. I'm also sick, which isn't helping. Overall, being sick & tired is rather boring. I'm as tired of this phase of my life as you are likely fatigued reading about it. Here...

Ever hear those anecdotal stories about how JFK had ADHD and how Albert Einstein had ADHD? As a young adult dealing with a brain on the fritz I was too skeptical to really believe those stories. After all, Attention Deficit Disorder didn't exist as a diagnosis until 1980. Then I looked into the matter for my ADDaboy! blog. I had heard that the DSM-V might relabel ADHD entirely and that prompted a look into how the condition had been diagnosed over the past century. It's not as funny a read as my driving article this week, but I kept the tone lighthearted. You shouldn't fall asleep too deeply while reading it: AD/HD - What's in a Name? ADHD type behavior has a long history of not quite fitting with the label applied to it. Now there's talk of a new label for ADHD diagnosis. What's it all mean? I'd love to know what you think of the article. Thanks for reading.

After revealing my dark, secret verbal abuse issues on the highways of Utah, I hope that people can chuckle at them with me. My last article over at ADDaboy! had my wife in traction from laughter. If I doubted even once in the past 21 years that I married the wrong person, it was removed then. You don't know me as well as she does, but perhaps you will find it humorous, too: ADHD Frustration - Get Out of My Way or I Shall Taunt You a Second Time I skirt through traffic like a hyperactive kid in a pod racer. Then I bump into somebody going 5mph slower than the stated speed who likes to brake for dust motes, or maybe they are on a cell phone and driving erratically, or they suddenly decide as I come up on them that THEY and THEY ALONE must be in front. These people irritate me in visceral ways that ignite the megaton nuke inside my mind. And then I open my mouth. If you have anger & frustration issues due to ADHD, I'd love to know your thoughts on my new article. Please pop o...

Errands, ADDaboy! & family claimed Monday. Even with a good night's sleep I will have my work cut out for me with this project . I continue to maintain a diurnal schedule. This is odd, yet pleasing. Funny to me is how few people in my online life realize what a monumental change this has been for me. In fact, my online life has lost its savor of late. I am writing more frequently, and more successfully, than ever before with fewer comments and feedback. Many people turn their nose up at Facebook, but I have received far more support there than on Twitter where I am one voice of many, and an insignificant voice at that. Over 870 followers there, and over 530 subscribers here, yet only a miniscule amount of people are inspired to comment. I can't help but think this is a good thing. My need for feedback at every step is just the manifestation of my low self-esteem—something I need to stamp out if I am to succeed. I also realize that my blog and li...

Remember that time I sold my minivan and left my spare keys in it and snuck into the car lot after hours to try and get them back because I had locked myself out of the house at 3am ? Ah, such nostalgia. Never fear, though. There is no more perfect way to celebrate a smartypants article about how to prevent losing things like locking yourself outside AND the minivan because you left your keys in the other jacket. Head on over to ADDaboy! where I wrote about My Life as an ADHD Sitcom . It's OK. Go ahead and laugh. I did. I'm wrapping things up here and heading on over to the library to work on next week's ADDaboy! articles or to write in my novel, which is more likely to happen. I had a very bad neurological day yesterday and achieved nothing of import except to get into arguments with half of my family. My wife & girls often assume I'm a jerk first before thinking "Oh, hey. He's not doing so well today." Most families don't understand neurological...

I’ll go ahead and refer to this as the first very most official update for my Splintered Books Project . I have been a busy boy this year. So busy that I don’t even recognize myself. If you have been following me from the beginning of this blog, have you ever known me to write so much? I am determined to succeed despite myself, however, so onward I press and to Outer Darkness with the hang-ups I’ve been held back by. Let’s take each item one by one: ADDaboy! After a somewhat rough beginning, and a video blog that was two weeks late, I seem to have discovered a rhythm. I produce the following week’s articles each Friday. I write them up, edit them, photograph or add a graphic, add the tags & SEO goodness, then schedule them to publish at their appointed hour and day. I’ve done this two weeks in a row now, and I am looking forward to doing it again tomorrow. As I feared, the ADDaboy! blog began to take over my writing time, but this new schedule is allowing me to spend six d...

I've been so busy living that I've forgotten to let you folks know about my latest blogs over at HealthyPlace.com . Well, OK. So I only lived yesterday, but it was intense living albeit the short variety. More on that later… For now, take a gander or a goose over at this: 5 ADHD Reasons Why I Never Get Anything Done - And one of them isn't Twitter . There is a strong chance that I may not get most of my ToDo list checked off today. In fact, any day of the week that ends with the same three letters is likely to be such a day. It all goes downhill from there. ADDaboy! the Vlog: ADHD in Motion - Yes, they want me to vlog for them. I think they're crazy, too. It's silly stuff, but you may find a kindred spirit within the streaming zeros and ones. I Weigh in on ADHD and Exercise - Regrettably, I have an awful lot of weight to throw around on the subject. I read an interesting article over at ADDitude Magazine the other day. Dr. John Ratey (of Hallow...