A Splintered Mind

Yesterday was conquered by fatigue and Tourettes. I didn’t get much accomplished aside from taking care of my daughter, which left me feeling a tad discouraged since I had just written in my journal before going to sleep about what an awesome day it was going to be. Still, all was not bad. For example, dealing with my daughter is a joy as it gives my life purpose. There was something else that brought a smile to my stressed out face, however. My daughter is autistic and learning disabled, and we work with a service that provides in-home therapy. They teach her coping and life skills. Today, she had a new therapist. There is an uncomfortable period, as you can imagine, when a stranger enters one’s home, but we’re used to this routine, so we make jokes and idle chitchat as we try to quickly establish a professional rapport. I was fully present for a while, but then I began a Tourettes episode and retired to my room to wait it out in private. Later, my daughter barg...

Since the pandemic, I have discovered something harder to deal with than Tourettes. It challenges my efforts to be upbeat and optimistic, and has given me very little to laugh about. I manage my ADHD & Depression just fine—or should I say I deal with them just fine. They represent road bumps that cause me to slow down, but then I get back up to speed. My Tourettes acts more like an IED that blows up my schedule. It takes a bit more effort and time to recover from, but I always get moving forward again. Post Viral Dysautonomia, as I’ve been recently diagnosed with, has been more like a head-on collision with demolition charges for the past four years, taking out both the car and the roads. It leaves me exhausted, susceptible to illness, and with oxygen saturation that routinely drops below 88%. Recently, I had a setback in my efforts to overcome dysautonomia. It was just back surgery. I had a cyst removed. Nothing drastic. It was day surgery. I laughed and chatted wi...

I've come to the decision that I need to blog again. I've filled over a dozen journals in the past two years, but I find myself stagnating despite all the wonderful conversations I've had with myself. When your voice is the only one you hear, you have nothing but an echo chamber even if the echoes sound insightful. I'll still journal, but I feel I'm ready to look outside of myself again as I used to do. Returning to a weekly schedule might be a bit much at this time, but I'll do my best. It's a good goal to work towards. To start, I've chosen a new blog template. Nothing fancy. Only the best prefab templates for me. I'd rather put my efforts into writing than coding, though I imagine I won't be able to help myself over time. Now if only I could figure out why comments aren't working. They've been MIA for years. ~Dˢ  

I joined the Midori Traveler’s Notebook (TN) club this past Summer. I missed the big blogging heyday about them around 2012 to 2015 when the Internet seem to explode over this nifty little notebook system, but I was all about digital back then. I loved my iPhone and didn’t feel a need to go analog. Recently, though, I noticed some artists doing inspiring things in their TNs, and I thought this could be the kick in the pants I needed to fit sketching back into my life. I started small with one notebook insert with a leather cover. Only when I noted that I was actually using it, I invested in more inserts. The only feature it was missing for me was a ToDo list insert, but nobody made one. And thus I began my journey yesterday into DIY Notebook Hell. With ADHD as my guide, I boldly discovered blog after blog of incredibly ornate notebook inserts that people made for themselves because the official ones were just “too expensive”. Since you can get official ones fo...

The biggest challenge in my life right now is Long COVID. The post exertion malaise leaves me depleted with no extra energy for blogging. All that energy is directed towards my Daddy Duty (I have an adult, learning disabled, autistic child at home) and my current work in progress. Yes, I am writing, and it’s filled with attitude and humor, but I’m not writing here. Let’s change that. I’ll start with recent Facebook posts, elaborate on them, and then start charting my progress—perhaps even with a bit of cheek. April 4, 2023: Nice weather we’re having! 🌱🌿🥀 (To be honest, snow in April means I have to continue staying indoors. The reprieve from illness that I typically get with warmer, sunnier weather is delayed with every day that Spring doesn’t return from Arizona or wherever the heck she gets off to during Winter.)   April 12, 2023: Just working on getting healthy again. Not succeeding very well. Current location: Bed Current mood: Annoyed . My Post CO...

Ever find yourself missing important messages because your voicemail box is filled with half a decade of unlistened to calls? There might be a solution for that. Adult ADHD is almost like the Baskin Robbins of the mental health community. There are so many flavors of ADHD, you can be forgiven for questioning if they’re all from the same diagnosis. Some adults with ADHD daydream. Others are chronically late. Some run their mouths off with their feet in the way. Others never stop talking. Some forget why they went to the store. Others forget who they just called because something distracted them after they dialed. There are plenty of attributes that we all have in common, but I am constantly surprised by how diverse the ADHD community is. One size truly does not fit all. I find that I have difficulty getting organized, I have chronic procrastination issues, I have trouble following through, and all because I have an intolerance for boredom. Those are fairly basic ADHD attribu...