Depression: It’s a Bummer (And Other Obvious Scientific Facts)

Update 2016: This article was featured in my book "Saying NO to Suicide", with added commentary.


As many of my regular readers know, I’m a full-time Dad who moonlights part time as a freelance artist. This usually means I’m fairly busy and never more so than these past few weeks. It seems that my daughters have conspired to make me feel my age. I simply don’t have enough energy to keep up with their active social life of performances, Irish step dancing competitions (feis), and community plays. Nevermind all the drama while we try to figure out their academic options for the Fall. It’s enough to drive me to depression.

Of course, I’ve learned long ago how to keep that black beastie at bay but I thought I’d share with you some links from the recent flurry of depression related news items I’ve come across lately.

First, my mind is still reeling from the latest amazing NIMH study, fresh from the labs of Mrs. Brisby: NIMH: Majority of suicides result of depression

Apparently, more than 90 percent of people who kill themselves have the diagnosable mental disorder called depression. Aside from me feeling slightly uncomfortable by seeing “mental disorder” and “depression” together, my first thoughts were “How do they know? Did they analyze the victims via séance?” Some may bristle at my black humor, but my mind is a sad, twisted wreck after years of unhappy thoughts. Honest. If it makes you feel happier about it you can blame President Bush.

Unfortunately, that’s not all I felt cheeky about. The article suggested that “family members should look for subtle behavioral changes if they suspect a loved one to be suicidal. For instance, giving away possessions or trying to resolve long-standing conflicts may be a sign that someone is preparing to die.” Heaven help the moody guy who decides to clean out his garage and make amends with his neighbors in the same week. His family will have him committed - especially if he suddenly shows an upswing in mood. The article warns this could be the energy he needs to end it all.

I realize that the article is as light as a cotton seed in the wind, but when one struggles with depression fluffy articles with simplistic advice can rub the wrong way. Or maybe I’m just cranky because it’s 95°F here in Utah, my minivan’s AC is broken, and therefore I’ve been driving around all day in an oven with four wheels.

The article ends with the following sagacious kernel of wisdom: “Depression becomes a handicapping condition when it interferes with daily life.” Do tell.

Why so flippant? Well, I find studies that announce obvious findings very funny and articles that ignorantly quote press releases even funnier. Is there really anybody out there that doesn’t already understand that a person who committed suicide was suffering from depression? Do well adjusted individuals kill themselves? No. The problem is that family members are often unaware their loved one was suffering. I had a friend whose father committed suicide. She was forever changed. It was my friendship with her that influenced me years later when I struggled with suicidal tendencies myself. I remembered how her father’s death hurt her. I loved my family too much to do the same. (Thank you, Anne)

As proof that the NIMH study is self-evident, here’s a link to an Australian article about fighting depression in the Bush. Of course, I was in an irreverent mood by that point, so when I read that Australian “research showed that a male farmer commits suicide every four days” I wondered how the farmer managed to commit suicide so often.

More seriously, I enjoyed an article at the Washington Post about dealing with depression. Here was advice that wasn’t fluffy: Don’t suffer alone. I can attest to the fact that suffering in silence aides depression, gives it weight, and helps it smother. Nowadays, I let my wife know when I am depressed. I let my kids know, too. I get lots of free hugs that way. Sure beats being a maudlin cynic. Ages ago I used to sing the refrain “nobody loves me” to some long forgotten tune. I’d just break out into song when I was feeling down and sorry for myself. One day when my oldest daughter was about three or four she suddenly piped up “*I* love you!” From then on I was denied that avenue of self-pity. Any time my mind absentmindedly spun and let slip that “song” I would be harrangued by a chorus of “I love you”, especially when my second daughter got into it as well. Eventually, it became a game before I stopped doing it entirely. Definitely do not suffer alone. Let your loved ones help buoy your spirits whenever possible.

Moving on, I don’t even want to touch California’s “Prescription for Death” bill. It failed to pass the California State Senate Judiciary Committee today. I empathize with the plight of the terminally ill, but I have to admit feeling abject horror at the thought of giving a doctor permission to kill me considering my experience with them.

So let’s end on a cheery note. Apparently, all the rain on the East Coast has the weather system there in a funk. There’s a chance a tropical depression could form south of the Carolinas. It will probably take a lot more than happy thoughts to cause that “mood” to dissipate. May I suggest brightly colored umbrellas?


Comments

Nate said…
What a great post!

:)
D.R. Cootey said…
Thanks. You have no idea how badly I needed to read that. I've actually been worried that I scared people off with this latest column. LOL :D
Scarlet Sphinx said…
As a depression sufferer, most advice is easier said than done. Getting out of the funk isn't always something you want to do.

I see a difference between depression and Depression (notice the upper-case letter). One is a mood. The other is a chronic frame of mind. One is easier to ignore whereas the other is driving the wheel of sleep, food, and consciousness.
Just MHO.
D.R. Cootey said…
Scarletsphinx ~ I see what you're saying, but I probably disagree with you if I understand you correctly. Depression (little d) may be a mood that one can ignore like a stubbed toe, but the psychological disorder of Depression (big D) can be abated with proactive thinking. I have Depression, the disorder. In fact, I have it so bad that I qualified for disability with it. Suicide wasn't just something that occurred to me because I was bored. I simply found myself loathing myself so intensely that I wanted to end it all. I also found that Depression colored my observations in life. I had an epiphany one day that there was a discrepancy between what I beheld to be the truth and what was really happening around me. The discrepancy offended my intellectual sensibilities so completely that that day I decided I was sick of Depression ruling my life. I took myself off my meds and began my long journey to take matters into my own hands. I reasoned "I was moody before. Then they told me I was Depressed AND gave me Chronic Motor Tic Disorder through side-effects. Maybe I don't need them. I can just go back to being moody and just deal with it." And I did.

If there is a flaw in my writings, perhaps it is in how I express myself. Perhaps I am not explaining this properly. If depression is the result of a chemical imbalance in the mind, then can't one use one's own mind to inject other chemicals to help balance things? I believe one can. So when I use "proactive" thinking, I am first telling myself to stop believing the messages that my mind is sending me. Things are not so bad, I am not dying, I can move, I can succeed, there is hope, etc. Then once I cross that hurdle I can begin to do things that elevate my endorphin and/or serotonin levels.

I will always have Depression. But I will never let it run my life again. I wish I could help others see that there is hope. But the nature of depression makes depressives fairly bleak in their outlooks. ;) But as you said, getting out of the funk is difficult to do. I just wish people would stop accusing me of not being depressed.
Scarlet Sphinx said…
Alright! Alright! You're depressed.
:}
I see that you aren't talking out of both sides of your mouth. I know you know what you're talking about.
I guess I'm projecting my frustration with the "just get over it" mentality.

Even then, with all the tools in the world, knowing what to do doesn't mean you're one step away from being cured.(Is there even a cure for depression or is it a constant demon?)

I'm not disagreeing with you, just squawking at the wind, I guess.

In any event.....Keep the umbrella handy.
D.R. Cootey said…
ScarletSphinx ~ :) I find "Just get over it" very hurtful, especially when said dismissively. They might as well say "You are such a loser" for all the good their advice does.

I'm a little tired so I don't know if I can answer this properly, but I believe there is a world of difference between being dismissed as a useless bag of flesh and being encouraged to master your feelings to improve your quality of life. The callous ones might think they're being helpful, but they're just being elitist boobs.

Depression for me is a constant demon, but I do hope they have a harmless cure for it one day. It will have to come from a new startup company, however. The current pharmaceutical companies like their lifelong revenue streams from selling pills.

Squawk away. I love open discourse here, even if I disagree with the occasional point. LOL And it's been so quiet around here since Summer started.
Anonymous said…
So.....

Is there a link between ADHD parents and Irish step dancing? I just came back from the Nationals last weekend, where my daughter competed in solos and teams. I'm getting ready to post about the challenges of managing schedules, costumes, nerves and items while at one of these extravaganzas.

Great post as always. I've been sporadic about posting and about talking ADHD...the nature of the beast I suppose.
Anonymous said…
The discourse is good.
I noticed that you've had a waterfall-decline in commenters. It's kind of depressing. (hardy har)

i can't remember; do you have insomnia, too?
D.R. Cootey said…
DrumsNWhistles ~ LOL Maybe there IS a link. My daughters are still new at this. My eleven year old just qualified for Novice in all her hard shoe categories. We simply lack the funds to fly around the Midwest attending feises every weekend.

Nationals. I can't even begin to imagine how expensive that must be for you. I hope your girl is having a blast! Look forward to your post.

ScarletSphinx ~ Yeah. It's been rather shocking, to be honest. I attribute it to the Summer, but my sporadic posting schedule for the past three months hasn't helped, I'm sure. My writing quality hasn't gone down, I'm fairly certain. ;) And darn it all if subscriptions aren't actually at an all time high. So I can't figure it out. People must not be inspired to leave comments. Maybe they're afraid I'll get all cranky on them. :[

Thanks for posting!

~Douglas
Annette said…
Nah, it's all the intelligent posters you get that scare the rest of us off. Either that, or someone beats us to the punch. Who wants to repeat something already (eloquently) stated?

I started reading your blog around the time a therapist diagnosed me (after one meeting) with ADD (the inattentive kind, not the hyperactive kind). Mainly based on being fidgety and the ability to hyperfocus ... and easily distracted. And here I thought all that was the by-product of being a mom :)

Keep posting, at least you know people are reading even if they aren't responding. That counts for something, right?
D.R. Cootey said…
Thanks, tymbr. I hadn't thought the high caliber of commentary around here would be intimidating for others. They sure keep me on my toes, though! I actually feel a bit lucky to have such intelligent commenters.

There is a great deal of psuedo-ADD in our society. Some is caused by the quickly edited media, some by the noisy and busy world we live in. In the case of motherhood, I'm sure sleep deprivation doesn't help you out much. The thing about psuedo-ADD is that if you remove the cause the ADD symptoms go away. It's a reaction to the environment whereas authentic ADD is inherent in the person regardless of the situations around them.

You mention that the therapist was quick to diagnose you. You either scream AD/HD with your behavior or they know their stuff. Of course, you could always get a second opinion. Therapists aren't always right. They're human, too, though they might not want YOU to know that. lol

Yeah, I'll keep posting. There are 500-700 unique visitors a week here now that the summer's hit, sometimes more. I wish more would speak up as you have done, but I'm thankful that 25% of those visitors stay and read a while. I'd like to see more links into the blog, but the only way to get them is to keep posting! :)
Heidi the Hick said…
Okay, I was in Dial Up Land for almost two weeks, and couldn't load your blog, so that's my excuse!

I have a close friend whose mother suddenly and unexpectedly killed herself. She's one of the first people I told about my depression problems. I wanted her to know that I was getting help.

We are so good at hiding it. We shouldn't. I still have a hard time sharing it but I am learning to not be ashamed of it!
D.R. Cootey said…
Heidi ~ Is my blog mean to dial up? I didn't have problems with it when I was forced to be in Dial Up Land a few months ago. I wonder what the hang up was on your end. Sorry about that. I do like my snazzy graphics.

Oh! I shut off picture loading when I was in Dial Up Land. That's how I did it. I've been thinking of a site redesign. We'll see.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend's mother. It must be particularly poignant for you because she was a confidant for your depression. I agree about not feeling shame, but I do advise caution when sharing. Some people can't handle it.

I had a friend (Hi, J.T.!) who hailed me one day out of the blue. It had been years since we last chatted. He asked me how I was doing. I answered him truthfully. He never wrote back again. That was some time ago, but it still stings. People can be so ignorant. The thing is he was never that understanding of my eccentricities in the past, so I don't know what the heck I was thinking when I opened up to him. LOL

Don't be ashamed of yourself, Heidi. You didn't ask for depression. As I always say, take heart in the small victories as you strive to overcome it.

Thanks for writing.
I don't mind black or morose humor. A lot of people have accused me of being ghoulish because I tend to have gallows humor. It's just a way of dealing with things. Go for it!
D.R. Cootey said…
Cheesemeister ~ Exactly. Instead of letting things get to me I crack jokes. It's a defensive mechanism, but it's how I deal with things. Fortunately, over time I've gotten funnier. At least that's what I tell myself. ;P

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