Bad Luck: Creative Condiments

I'm still working on my next big blog entry, but my wife laughed at me tonight which has filled me with such bloggy angst that I felt compelled to bare my soul and share its ugliness with you.

OK, she didn't laugh at me that hard. But it's still worth sharing if you have the stomach for it.

I usually have bad luck, but I don't let it get me down. I just let out a stream of sarcastic comments to deal with the punches life throws at me. You could almost say that I've become pretty good at giving a running commentary on my life as it unfolds before me ala Mystery Science Theater 3000. My humor tends to run black, but some of the quips are funny and generally entertaining for those around me.

I had Crab flavored Udon So tonight I thought I'd fix up some udon noodles for an evening snack. Set out package, find pan, walk to sink - pretty normal. But after I filled the pan with water I noticed that the bottom of the cup felt gritty. A quick look revealed black, clumpy specks all over the bottom and wirey human hairs affixed to the side. Mmm, yummy. Special condiments for that extra flavorful burst of joy that could only be found at Casa Cootey (pronounced koo tay' for exotic emphasis). I rinsed off the cup and figured I should rinse out the pan and start over. That's when I discovered the previous night's dinner still clinging to the pan for dear life.

Ah, yes. Nothing wets an appetite like being forced to scrub off yesterday's dinner. As I severed the particles from their tenacious clasp on the pan with hearty swirly motions, I mentioned to my family that next time they washed pans they might consider using a sponge and become familiar with its bristley side. My wife and daughter simply laughed. To be truthful that was my intention. This was nothing to get upset about. After 13 years with children I have become immune, well almost immune, to the ubiquitous ichor and grime that spontaneously generate in the wake of all my children's passing. I complain, but I also take opportunity to make jokes about it.

"You poor thing. You really are a magnet for misery," my wife said after much laughter. I suppose she's right. The odd things in life that inconvenience us from time to time happen to everyone, but in my world if something gross is going to be on somebody's plate, cup, utensil, etc. it will be on mine and no one else's. Life's gourmet condiments seek me out to spice up my life.


Coping Strategies:

1) Make sure your pans are clean before you use them. Aren't you glad you came here to read advice that good?

Comments

Anonymous said…
You know, it's interesting. I've long thought of myself as a jinx--buying stock just before it plummets, taking jobs at businesses weeks before they start circling the bowl, etc.--to the point where I, like you, have come to expect it. But the way I've been thinking about it lately, I'm wondering whether bad luck is to some extent a self-fulfilling prophecy and whether it can be willfully transformed.

I mean, just as a wild experiment, if I were to imagine that I had a good-luck magnet attached to me every day for the next month, would it really make a difference? Or would it just be that because I was focusing on such things, I'd become less likely to see the jinxy things that pop up in my life and more likely to see the relatively rare lucky breaks?

Hmm. I may have to try this and report back.
April 20, 2005 1:55 AM
D.R. Cootey said…
Excellent premise for an experiment. I, too, wonder if maybe I'm just attuned to bad luck, so I notice it more than good luck because I expect it. But in my defense good things do happen to me. They're just not funny to write about! :) Also, I only realized this silly episode plugged into the "Bad Luck" genre after my wife pitied my plight. So I wasn't expecting doom and gloom when I pulled out the pan to make noodles.

Still, there was a day I believed that I received almost nothing but flame mail. So I did an experiment. I put compliments in the Compliments folder and Flame mail in the Flames folder. After one month I had 60 compliments to 1 flame. After two months I had about 120 compliments to 2 flames. My perception was skewed by preconceived notions. I ignored compliments because I didn't place as much weight on them as I did insulting flames. That was pretty pathetic and I made immediate mental shifts in my perception. As a result of that experiment I have become far more optimistic and positive minded. So there is merit to your experiment.

I have watched some guys walk through life with no worries and no troubles. They exude positive faith. They're OK with the Universe and the Universe is OK with them. And they get more than their fair share of lucky breaks. Although there is still happenchance, I believe that many people alter their very existance by their positive attitudes about themselves and others - not just perception, but the very chain of events that unfold around them. Contrarily, there are many miserable people who think negatively about everything and who are constantly beset by troubles. Just cruel fate? A luck of the draw? Or is there something to faith we don't fully understand? Can we shape our world by our attitude? It sounds New Agey, but I wonder if there is something to it. What do you think? I look forward to the results of your experiment.

(BTW, if you are the Suzanne I think you are many of your emails to me have gone into the Compliments folder. I deleted the Flames folder years ago. I stopped heeding flames and interestingly enough, I stopped receiving them...)
April 20, 2005 3:13 AM
D.R. Cootey said…
Bad news. Bad luck. I haven't the heart to make a special blog about it... I just had complete and total hard drive failure on my external hard drive. My art scrap file, my 2000 MP3s (including the few hundred grabbed from my tape collection) and family movies not yet transferred to DVD. All gone. I can't think of anything funny to say about it yet. The tragedy is that I have a current, off site, backup system for all my files except the ones I just listed. I think I'd prefer finding hairs in my food...
April 20, 2005 4:43 AM
Anonymous said…
Oh, no. Any possibility at all that the information can be recovered off the disk?

I would be in a world of hurt right now if my computer decided to die. It's probably time to make another backup, come to think of it.

(And yes, I'm probably the Suzanne you think I am.)
April 20, 2005 2:27 PM
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