Thursday, May 10, 2007

Depression: Random Web Therapy

The Googled Mind
I've had about three hours of sleep today. I'm trying to turn my schedule around. I'm afraid I've been very naughty of late and have gotten myself upside down again.
So here I am, tired, overheated (I still rent and the landlord is a sadist who only hooks up the swamp cooler on Memorial Day. It's a nice, toasty 88°F today. No, it's not Global Warming. It's always this hot here in Utah this time of year. That's why I call my landlord a sadist.), and my brain has melted down my legs and pooled underneath my computer chair. What's left of my brain has decided that I want to be depressed.
But who has time for that?
Every time I feel Depression begin to coat me with that oh, so familiar syrupy coat of gloominess I have a choice. I can snuggle in or I can shake it off. Mind over mood. That's my motto. I choose to shake it off. Of course, that's easier said than done, so I pulled out all the stops. I made sure I ate to boost energy levels (I tend to skip meals when I'm overheated), I drank a nice cool glass of spring water, then I randomly selected one of my web bookmarks. Off to I went.

When playing the distraction game, the trick is to find a distraction that either entertains or entices hyperfocusing. Either one will help me ride through the waves of Depression if I catch them early enough. I was the early bird this time so I decided to find humorous things to offset the poor production of Happy Juice in my mind. Unfortunately, I'm a terrible geek, so poking around lists of search engine queries probably doesn't leap into your minds as "entertaining". But I find them hilarious and they were just what I needed.
What are these search engine queries? Well, these are the words and phrases people type into Google or other search engines to come upon my site. Most links in are fairly straightforward dealing with ADHD or Depression, but some border on the bizarre. Here are my favorites for today. They did the trick, bringing a smile to my face while lessening Depression's grip:

I have a lump on toe after I broke it - Very relevant search string. My brain is often lumpy and broken.

pitch your mettle against common household appliances - Google has revealed my secret shame. I am often in a battle to the death with my vacuum cleaner. How did they know!?!

swamp cooler fish smell - This just became relevant today after this very post. Google as oracle to the future or commentary on the quality of my blog?

pictures of lying on a shrink's couch - Today's winner by a mile. Made me laugh out loud. Now everybody can bring home the happy memories of lying on a couch while blaming their mother for everything wrong with their life to somebody who supports them only as far as they've paid up for the month. For all your psychiatric photography needs, please visit The Splintered Mind. Besides pictures of lying on a shrink's couch, I also have available pictures of your last electroshock therapy session, pictures of you posing in your favorite straight jacket, and pictures of you having a heart attack when learning how much those new medications are going to cost you.
Ah, no more Depression. I got off easy this time. Next time I might have to walk AWAY from my computer and (shudder) go outside for a change of scenery. The horrors!

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