Depression: Random Web Therapy
I've had about three hours of sleep today. I'm trying to turn my schedule around. I'm afraid I've been very naughty of late and have gotten myself upside down again.
So here I am, tired, overheated (I still rent and the landlord is a sadist who only hooks up the swamp cooler on Memorial Day. It's a nice, toasty 88°F today. No, it's not Global Warming. It's always this hot here in Utah this time of year. That's why I call my landlord a sadist.), and my brain has melted down my legs and pooled underneath my computer chair. What's left of my brain has decided that I want to be depressed.
But who has time for that?
Every time I feel Depression begin to coat me with that oh, so familiar syrupy coat of gloominess I have a choice. I can snuggle in or I can shake it off. Mind over mood. That's my motto. I choose to shake it off. Of course, that's easier said than done, so I pulled out all the stops. I made sure I ate to boost energy levels (I tend to skip meals when I'm overheated), I drank a nice cool glass of spring water, then I randomly selected one of my web bookmarks. Off to hittails.com I went.
When playing the distraction game, the trick is to find a distraction that either entertains or entices hyperfocusing. Either one will help me ride through the waves of Depression if I catch them early enough. I was the early bird this time so I decided to find humorous things to offset the poor production of Happy Juice in my mind. Unfortunately, I'm a terrible geek, so poking around lists of search engine queries probably doesn't leap into your minds as "entertaining". But I find them hilarious and they were just what I needed.
What are these search engine queries? Well, these are the words and phrases people type into Google or other search engines to come upon my site. Most links in are fairly straightforward dealing with ADHD or Depression, but some border on the bizarre. Here are my favorites for today. They did the trick, bringing a smile to my face while lessening Depression's grip:
I have a lump on toe after I broke it - Very relevant search string. My brain is often lumpy and broken.
pitch your mettle against common household appliances - Google has revealed my secret shame. I am often in a battle to the death with my vacuum cleaner. How did they know!?!
swamp cooler fish smell - This just became relevant today after this very post. Google as oracle to the future or commentary on the quality of my blog?
pictures of lying on a shrink's couch - Today's winner by a mile. Made me laugh out loud. Now everybody can bring home the happy memories of lying on a couch while blaming their mother for everything wrong with their life to somebody who supports them only as far as they've paid up for the month. For all your psychiatric photography needs, please visit The Splintered Mind. Besides pictures of lying on a shrink's couch, I also have available pictures of your last electroshock therapy session, pictures of you posing in your favorite straight jacket, and pictures of you having a heart attack when learning how much those new medications are going to cost you.
Ah, no more Depression. I got off easy this time. Next time I might have to walk AWAY from my computer and (shudder) go outside for a change of scenery. The horrors!
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Comments
I am concerned about tonight. Sleeping meds don't work out of my system very well so I avoid them. This leaves me with will power to put me to bed earlier. I don't have too much will power when there's a good book to read, a good movie to watch, or all around quiet time when the family is asleep and the house is finally quiet. I do so love to putter around at night. But not tonight (I tell myself)!
~Douglas
I'm smiling today.
I believe that just forcing yourself to smile when you don't feel like it is a proactive attack against Depression. Even if it seems silly, it is a small step in the right direction. I also believe that once those muscles are limbered up, smiling comes easier and so doesn't a positive outlook. Our faces can become rigid and emotionless when we are in the throes of Depression. Forcing yourself to smile breaks up that momentum.
Skeptics will scoff at my silly little regimen, but as you know Depression is a heavy burden to bear. We need to find our own ways of dealing with it - even if they seem silly to others. If sniffing fresh flowers daily is what boosts your will to fight, then do it, no matter how hard the cynics will laugh. If drinking your Grandma's favorite tea helps you feel happy and pushes you away from Depression, keep that tea in stock in your cupboard at all costs.
We may not be able to stop our mind's tendency to be sad, but we can prevent that sadness from taking over. So I'll do my stupid smiling practice in front of my mirror. My kids may laugh at me, but they'd rather I be upbeat than down in the dumps.
I'm really glad you mentioned this. I've always meant to blog about smiling practice but never managed to get around to it. Maybe it seemed too private to me. At any rate, congratulations on your victory. You should be proud of yourself for not giving into the Depression. Only by fighting can we keep the worst of the Depression from taking over our lives. Good for you!
~Douglas
Ah, I see the problem. You have troubles with reading comprehension. You do realize that death.com is a link farm for Yahoo ads, don't you? I mean, seriously. Who would buy a casket by mail order off a spam site? I can just picture it now.
"Honey? The mailman wants me to sign for a casket! Is there anybody in it?"
"Don't be silly, dear. It's for you."
"Come again?"
"You're always getting after me to save money. Well, now I bought your casket at 70% off! Could you get in and try it out to make sure it fits?"
Thanks for the laugh, Mr. Anonymous.