Paris Hilton & ADD. It's Hot!
Does ADD poster child Paris Hilton get a pass for bad behavior because of ADD? Judging from some of the articles I've read she does, but did you ever get a pass for ADD? Neither did I.I have a life beyond the gossip rags, so I missed this little gem last week where TMZ got the "scoop" of the decade. According to unnamed sources, Paris Hilton suffers from extreme Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and claustrophobia. These sources also fingered Adderall as Paris' particular poison of choice, and claimed 'twas pity that spared the beast when the ole Sheriff learned of Paris' panic attacks from lack of medication. All across the tubes site after site regurgitated the above sentences without skepticism. Not a single site, not even Foxnews, could corroborate this information separately. Yet all sites seemed relieved to finally have a medical reason to blame Paris' behavior on.
"See? She's not really a pampered brat," we are led to believe. "She has ADD. Poor thing..."
What do we really know about Paris, though? Heck, all I know about her new home in Lynwood came from a Weird Al album. I'm not an expert on celebrities, especially Paris. However, I do know a thing or two about ADD and even ADHD. Let's consider some implications of this "news".
Ever arrive late to work because you took the wrong bus? I sure would have liked to blame ADHD on that day. It was at fault, after all. I was just an innocent victim panicking because I was late and leapt on the wrong bus without thinking. In fact, all that high risk behavior in my youth, all the feet I crammed in my mouth, and all the friendships I left burning like abandoned husks behind me can be squarely blamed on ADHD.
It's not my fault. I don't have to be responsible. Wow! This is exhilarating!
Far be it for me to avoid an opportunity to wag my finger at the media, but I see a deeper problem here besides scapegoating. If I blurt out how much you dislike the hostess' dress to the hostess in a moment of AD/HD brilliance, do your feelings stop hurting because I can blame AD/HD? If I forget to tell you about a meeting that costs you your job, will a "Whooopsies! I have AD/HD!" set things right? There seems to be a concerted effort in the press of late to justify aberrant behavior through mental disfunctions such as Depression and AD/HD, as if a medical label makes everything all better. The trouble is that only apologies and reparation makes things better, not labels.
Where is our society going when we happily divorce actions from responsibility? Why are celebrities and monsters not held accountable in the press for what they do and instead are given excuses to avoid responsibility? Who knows, but if we excused all our bad behavior on ADHD would we grow? Would we mature? I don't believe we would, and that would be a terrible waste of living.
I propose instead that we take responsibility for our actions, even stupid and embarrassing ones. ADHD may explain how our reason left us for a moment, but only we can repair the damage we have done. Sometimes we lose the job. Sometimes we lose a friend, but by and large we grow when we accept responsibility. In my experience, taking responsibility has saved more for me than lost, especially with friendships.
And what of forgiveness? Frankly, one can't demand that from people even if they are being unfair. We first need to make reparation as best we can and hope for the best. I realize this will be difficult. AD/HD actions like taking out a third mortgage on the house to lose on risky stocks isn't going to go over well with the spouse, but neither will blaming it on AD/HD. By taking responsibility, your spouse is more likely to forgive you if you are upfront about things. Or at least your spouse might let you sleep on the couch instead of the dog house.
As for Paris, I'd like to see her learn some coping skills instead of pining for medication, but fortunately, we only have a gossip site's word that she has AD/HD in the first place. Can we please choose a new AD/HD poster child now? I'm available.
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6/21/07 10:08:45 PM Edited for spelling.
Comments
Have you ever met Paris Hilton? I'm not saying I even like Paris Hilton for what it's worth, but I'm telling you right now that you have absolutely no right to condemn her for her emotional problems when you know nothing about her from except what you've read.
Yes, I have ADD. Yes, it sucks that my life has been so screwed up and I've made plenty of mistakes that I wish I could take back. Do I blame my mistakes on ADD? No, I take full responsibility for what I've done wrong, but I would be a complete fool if I didn't think having ADD had something to do with it.
Do I wish I could be what is considered "normal" and not have ADD? Yes, maybe sometimes it would be nice. But I know that I have a dynamic and creative imagination that most people don't have. I know that have unlimited potential if I can overcome the obstacles that prevent me from reaching my goals. Some people use medication to help and believe me it works. My brain functions in ways I never thought possible and I have achieved more than I ever dreamed of. Some people with ADD may have several other mental disorders along with it. You do not know Paris Hilton and it gives you no right to judge her from any type of impairment or emotional disorder she may have. Why don't you do something meaningful with your life instead of picking on people to make yourself feel good?
"let he who is without sin, cast the first stone" (John 8:2-11 KJV)
You must have ADD because you skipped over the header of my site that reads "Overcoming Neurological Disabilities With Lots Of Humor And Attitude" and rushed into the article. You also didn't read my article very well. Consider this sentence of mine: "ADHD may explain how our reason left us for a moment, but only we can repair the damage we have done. "
The keywords "our", "us", and "we" should be an important clue: I have AD/HD. And I don't believe we gain anything by whining into our milk about how tough life is because we have it. Yes, in the past I did my own fair share of whining. Yes, AD/HD is a pain. For instance, I'm the one who got on the wrong bus (reread the article after you've put down the stones). That was embarrassing. But blaming the incident on ADHD wouldn't have made things better with my boss. Ideally, if the world was perfect and the boss had a sense of humor I could have shared that with him. But how many bosses do you know that find dopey reasons why an employee is late a source of humor?
BUT taking responsibility and making sure I am not late like that again, or at the very least making sure I take a moment to get on the correct bus, helps me grow and cope with life better. I may have AD/HD but I don't have to let it turn me into a victim no matter how many stupid mistakes I make.
Life isn't fair. AD/HD stinks. Now it's time for us to roll up our sleeves and get to work making a life for ourselves. Or at least laugh at ourselves more. That's important, too.
As for your comments, I'd like to thank you for taking time to leave them. I'm sorry you misunderstood my article and got upset, but consider this sentence of yours: "You do not know Paris Hilton and it gives you no right to judge her from any type of impairment or emotional disorder she may have."
Nevermind that I already mentioned that I don't know Paris and can't really say much about her, or that I seriously doubt this story is accurate on any level, or even that I offered up myself as the AD/HD poster child, but who are you to judge me? You couldn't even figure out I had AD/HD and other disabilities. This is a perfect example of how we with AD/HD need to temper ourselves and work harder to rein in our impulses. Watch those stones, OK?
b. See a.
c. I thought you said I made an unfunny joke about Paris. Now you're saying I didn't make a joke about Paris and instead talked garbage about ALL people with ADD and ADHD - including myself apparently. Honestly, you've severely misread my article.
d. You can't speak for all people with ADD and ADHD because I have ADHD and I couldn't disagree with you more.
e. I'm sorry you didn't like my article, but you're just going to have to deal with the fact that not all people with ADHD feel sorry for themselves they way you apparently do.
f. I love you, too.
~Douglas
Oh, and sorry for being almost a month late reading this. I was distracted. ;-)
And you are totally correct, ADD/AD-HD are not excuses for foot-in-mouth disease, lack of responsibility, and bad behavior. And neither should celebrity be one either. Paris says she wants to be role model now. I hope that works for her, but as far as my daughter is concerned, she's in the same class as Bratz dolls - VERBOTEN.