With Swiss Cheese for Brains I Can Make an ADHD Sandwich

(cc) Douglas CooteyIt's been a while since I've recorded the wonderfully happy life I have under the power of an ADHD mind. I suppose I have been rather busy home schooling, mastering the penny whistle, mastering myself, writing a picture book, a chapter book, and starting a novel, as well as doing art therapy and meeting life goals. I don't have time for Adult ADHD. In fact, I am not all about ADHD, or Depression, or Chronic Motor Tic Disorder, or Insomnia for that matter. I just happen to be dealing with those issues. I've found success by not hating myself while learning to laugh at myself - all in good nature, of course. I'm not in denial of the pains and burdens my disabilities are for my family. You won't, for example, ever hear the following conversation:


Me: Robyn, remember the time I was making ramen and I got distracted in the studio working? And I forgot about the ramen? And the water boiled away and the pan melted on the burner? Wasn't that hilarious!?

Robyn: Errr. Honey, for years after you scared me to death whenever you insisted you could cook.


Me: I can't even remember if I was wearing any pants. Hoooboy! Hahahaha!


I remember that day, and the look on the neighbor's face. She had come out to discover what all the commotion was about. She found me airing out the apartment from all the smoke so the fire alarm would stop blaring. For some time after I am certain she feared her life was in jeopardy every time I cooked a meal. But seriously, c'mon! That was only the third pan I had ever melted. It's not like that happened all the time.

Obviously, as I live I prove I have Adult ADHD. I can't escape it. All cheek aside, however, I honestly do remember that day, but I have found healing by making fun of it here in this blog (numerous times) and I am proud to say that I am a master of ramen now with nary a pan melted since the turn of the century.

I've developed almost neurotic routines to help prevent me from repeating stupid mistakes. I feel like an old man the way I pat myself down making sure I have my keys, my eyeglasses, my USB flash drive, my wallet, etc. (Actually, I forget my wallet all the time). Unfortunately, I am not infallible. Enter my MacBook.

Last Monday, and a whole week of healing later, I was at my daughter's voice lesson. I kept myself busy using my MacBook and when it was time to go I set it down to my right and then asked the teacher a few questions. Then I turned around, gathered my things, zipped up my sachel, and left. Hours later I discovered to my horror that my MacBook was not actually in my computer sachel. In a panic I called the teacher's home and arranged for his wife to meet me at the studio. Sure enough, I had left my MacBook there.

This was the second time I had left a laptop behind. The first time I left my computer sachel in the parking lot after buckling in my kids. I came back hours later to find it in the grass. Every pocket had been rifled through, but miraculously, not a single thing was taken. Not a journal, sketch book, Palm PDA, or iBook. For years I included my sachel in my pat down. And hey! It worked! I didn't forget my sachel.

Unfortunately, I absentmindedly zipped up the silly thing WITHOUT the MacBook in it. So stupid.

I could hate myself for nearly losing a $1500 laptop. Some might say it would be well deserved. However, I cannot allow myself that luxury. To hate is to invite Depression and low self-esteem and constant misery. The thing about all those things is that they tend to impair my thinking and make my life worse. So I laugh instead. And now maybe you laughed, too.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I can't remember if I shut off the stove.



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Comments

Soozcat said…
I've killed at least two saucepans in my day and quite a few teakettles. We now have a whistling teakettle for a reason: so I can make herb tea, not chaos and screaming.
Claire said…
The day my husband melted his first pan we were still in the diagnosis process. I honestly thought he had early onset Alzheimers at that point. I never knew the tricks a depressed ADHD brain could play until then!
mousewords said…
Wow, oh wow. I thought I was the only one who used the term "Swiss Cheese Brain." I've experienced chronic carbon monoxide poisoning, and the neurological damage it leaves is very similar to what you describe. Definitely holes in my brain where memory used to be. Definitely a constant wrestling match with depression (and YES the disgust with myself makes it worse). I've even got some degree of the distraction--I forget what I'm doing, need to make a check before leaving the house to make sure I have everything.

So you have my utmost encouragement and respect for raising awareness and making the choice to have a positive attitude! Believe me, you're doing way better than the depression tries to tell you. Best wishes to you!
D.R. Cootey said…
Ness ~ Thanks for posting. I have saved this thread to reply to until I had time to read through your post thoroughly. I'm up to my eyes with a DVD production project and I have been doing all-nighters for the last four days. I'm pretty beat, but the project is nearly complete. My goal is to have it done before Monday.

So. Your daughter. Hmm, I'm not sure what to say. Many of us, AD/HD or otherwise aren't able to learn from other's mistakes very well. Somehow we feel that things will be different for us because we are different. Your daughter may be one of those people. There is something else, however, that you may need to consider. Anecdotally, I have heard it said time and time again that people with AD/HD tend to be behind the curve compared to their peers as far as maturity is concerned. Your daughter will continue on like this until one day she has lost and paid for one thing too many. There will be a switch that will go off in her head and she will suddenly get it. Maturity will catch up to her.

Until then, I would suggest you change your tack when dealing with her. I'm going to assume you are concerned with her and might even lecture her a bit. I know I do that with my girls. Do you think you could laugh about these things with her? It may seem counterintuitive for you, but if you can get her to jovially discuss these mistakes in a way that doesn't threaten her, you might be able to plant a seed about "checking" for that day in the future when the light goes on. Another thing, perhaps because YOU check she may not feel she wants to.

Let me tell you a story. I used to lose everything. If it wasn't attached to me it would disappear somewhere. I was very frustrated. When the Princess Bride came out I remember the light coming on for me at the end of the movie. Peter Falk got up after telling his story and patted himself as he checked for his personal items. I realized then that if I did that "old man" routine, I wouldn't lose anything anymore. I was 20 years old. If I lose something now, it is because I didn't do the "old man" thing.

Hang in there. Your girl will learn. She's just taking longer than other people her age might.

~Douglas
D.R. Cootey said…
Sooz~ Make Tea. Not Chaos! It's a bumper sticker if I ever saw one. If only I wasn't busy today I'd whip it up. Remind me in a few days if I haven't posted it. :)

I love whistling kettles for that very reason. They are annoying and won't let me forget about them. Just used one tonight. There's a kettle out there with a multitone whistle built by Hohner that's about $120. Excessive but I just know I need it. LOL

Claire ~ See? All he needs is to be distracted at the wrong moment and hiss, crackle, pop! Another pan slagged. :)

~Douglas
D.R. Cootey said…
Mousewords ~ Thanks for posting. It's nice to follow you on Twitter. I'm glad you found your way to my blog.

I think it's great we can laugh about these quirks instead of beat ourselves up about them. Who needs all that guilt and anxiety? I certainly don't.

Thank you for the kind words. I hope to see you around her again.

~Douglas

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