Saturday, March 01, 2008

The Splintered Chat #8

Here's hoping you have a great weekend. I'm up to my eyes in projects and hopefully will make headway. I have finished much, but still have much to do. I took a break tonight from my labors to enjoy a mild distraction, The Tale of the Mall Ninja. Here is evidence that even successful writers suffer from distractions. I discovered the following on Neil Gaiman's blog and now share it with you.

If a kid picks up a candy bar and runs, you give him a warning before you cuff him. Same with those mindless teenyboppers who go to the Hickory Farms store, and then take double samples of fruitcake and cheeselog, you warn them that they will be charged with a felony(grand theft), and that if they attempt to fight and run, they will be, unfortunately, first tazered, and if they continue to resist violently with intent to maim, then wounded. Fortunately, wounding fire to suppress teenage kleptomaniacs is relatively easy, they all run in straight lines, and a hit in the knee will be relatively simple from the second floor. But they all get a warning first, we do not simply shoot shoplifters unless they resist violently.

Ah, the joys of the Mall-Ninjas. Click on the link for context and much, much more of the same. Really wonderfully, dreadfully, unintentionally, funny...

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Update 3/14/08 6:04:15 AM: Comments closed

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