The Splintered Chat #9
Ah, yes. My daughter is now sweet sixteen. And boys drop by to visit her. I am so very, very not ready for this. I've had sixteen years to prepare, but still I feel as if this has all happened too quickly.
Silly, no? Tonight my daughter continues her meteoric climb up. She has been asked to sing lead for a bluegrass band. I see her life building from one success to another. My wife, too, goes from one job to a better job, each one building upon skills she acquired through on-the-job training. My life, on the other hand, feels as if my successes are scattered randomly behind me, none linking to each other. As I wrap up a DVD project today, I undertake a web design project next, with another waiting in the wings after that. One would think I'd be excited about all this, and I am, but there's a nagging feeling in the back of my mind.
Don't get me wrong. I truly am excited for the work, but each job feels like a 90° turn from the other. I suspect that's just me who feels that way. I have so many irons in the fire is it any wonder the projects feel disconnected from one another? I would probably be bored moving from point A to point B. I wonder how others with ADHD feel about their careers and where they are going. Do you find yourself working towards a goal, are you just gainfully employed and wondering what you are doing there, or do you feel like you're spinning plates for a living? Me? I'm a plate spinner. I just wish I had a pit orchestra to play the soundtrack of my life. It might seem more purposeful then. ;)
This begins this week's chat. I forgot to close last weekend's. I believe I will retire ADHD Ambitions since it has not consistently spawned the responses I was hoping it would, and instead just state my goals here in the Splintered Chat. It's better for me to just have one open conversation to worry about anyway. I'll leave it open for one week.
Discuss ADHD and career goals amongst yourselves, or bring up another topic you feel strongly about. Have a great day.
~Douglas
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Comments
I chose to just live with it. You're in good company.
As for being a night owl, this is the absolute worst I've been in a long while. I'm trying to get a project done by this weekend. I need to begin a new job on Monday. This is my last hurrah. Wish me luck.
BTW, I prefer to be called Douglas, if you don't mind. Thanks!
~Douglas
I've been lingering over your emails for a while now and can really relate to a lot of your thoughts.
I feel like life is just a thing here, a thing there, another thing there.... it's all disjointed. I'm fortunate enough to be married to a very loving, patient, understanding and reasonably organized man.
Your tic disorder scares me quite a bit. I'm on Risperdal, Concerta and Celexa and it seems to have helped tremendously.
I'll try and stay on track. I don't think I could follow an organized life plan. When I get bored I get depressed. I've tried to force myself to work at places that weren't right for me. I guess that doesn't mean I couldn't work toward a career that IS good for me... oh lots of thoughts. When I try to figure it out my brain shuts down. Well at least the medication has greatly settled my mood anyway. I used to go into deep depressions and then work life would get messed up because of time off. And I used to get a lot of flashes of anger and irrational thoughts, I don't get that so much anymore. And yet I don't feel doped up either (as I did with other anti-depressants and whatever I've been on).
Anyway, I think you're very courageous for trying to organize a forum for ADDers lol, it must be quite frustrating to receive attempted conversations that are so disjointed. I, myself, am embarrassed by my difficulty with communication.
So there you go. I've contributed! Nice to meet you.
Melanie
I'm glad medicine is working for you. Not everybody can take that many without suffering side-effects. If you find they work for you then more power to you.
Take care of yourself, and thanks again for commenting. I look forward to reading more of your comments in the future.
~Douglas
"Honey, have you seen my phone?" said MDH.
"No," I replied. "Do you need me to call it?"
"I think I left it down stairs. I'll go look." several minutes go by. No phone is found.
He asks "Do you have speed dial on this thing?" while staring at my phone as if it is an alien invention.
"Yes, but to explain how to use it would take longer than just dialing the number."
he dials his own number, and Charlie and the Chocolate factory's imagination song begins blaring from his waistband. Apparently he put it on the right side of his belt, and since it wasn't on the left, he couldn't find it, even though it was attached to his belt.
:)
I'm having a verklempt moment. Talk amongst yaselves.
Wow. 16. That doesn't seem possible.
Soozcat ~ I forgot about that. Yep, all our efforts to warp and twist her have failed. She's class valedictorian, graduating high school at the end of her junior year, and ready to take on the world. Dating college men at 17. Oh, heavens, my heart.
Well, I've been a bit busy this past week. Work to finish and all that. I just have to mail the little buggers out and the DVD project will be finité! Now I just have to prepare for my seminar tomorrow. I may or may not blog about it. Depends on how well it goes.
I imagine the reviewer is going to have a hard time telling me anything in the fifteen minutes we have. He'll be too busy laughing. "Never hahahaha before heee have I hahahaha read snort such drivel! Bwahahahahaahaaa! Let me read this for open mic tonight, please? heeeheeehawhawhooooo"
Yep, it's gonna be a little like that. Hopefully, they'll have free donuts. That'll make up for the humiliation.
yes, most characters in stories arent. still cant figure out why we must be "3-dimensional" in real life.
pain in the ass.
look at it this way...ur family is doing ok, u still manage to look after them in ur own loving, intelligent way
..which is more than sum characters can say for themselves
..if u know what i mean
My path is different, not lesser, and I'm fine with it when I remind myself why I don't envy the path other people have taken.
That doesn't mean it's easy. There are things I want to accomplish that I haven't, but that's a matter of skill building. The key, I think, is finding the balance between the development and utilization of these "non-ADHD" skills, and the exercise of all the wonderful skills and gifts ADHD gives me.
Yes, I medicate, but minimally (I don't take extended release, and I only dose once a day, which lasts 4-6 hours). I focus on ways to tweak my environment to work with my ADHD. Doesn't always work, but I've only been working on this for about a year; with time, my tweaks will be more automatic, more a part of me and less a part of a plan.
The review went great. He had grammatical changes to suggest, but the story worked as far as he was concerned. Now, if only I could convince an editor of that. I've sent it off to Simon & Schuster as solicited material because I met an editor. A foot in the door can be caught in the door as it slams closed, though. ;)
pdxWoman ~ Another great comment. I'm kicking myself I was so busy these past few weeks.
You are so on target in that 3rd paragraph. One way I began to turn my depression around was to realize I didn't appreciate the skills I *DID* have as opposed to beating myself up for the skills I didn't have. I'm sure you'll find your balance.
Well, I don't want you to feel bad because you utilize meds. It's a hard balance for me. They screwed me up and permanently damaged me so I hate them all, but I recognize that they work for other people. Just be careful of the side-effects. Sounds like you're utilizing them properly, though, as a tool to boost yourself while you still develop coping strategies. Good on you.
~Douglas