Dear ADHD, Will You Please Get Out of the Way When I Write a Letter?
How are your ADHD-fueled letter writing skills? Ever consider writing the point of the letter first?
When I was courting my wife for the the final and most important time, we were 2000 miles apart and could only "date" via phone and letter. This was 1987 and computers were still something you needed access to the lab for, which means I wrote her letters by hand. I wrote so much that I gave up on individual sheets of paper and instead purchased notebooks. I'd fill a notebook up then mail it off while filling up the next.
I have no idea if she truly read the libraries of letters I sent her. I can only assume she did since she knew what she was getting into and agreed to my proposal a few months later, but at the time I was bothered by the fact she didn't write back in reply. She would tell me that she didn't see the point. After four hours on the phone she had little more to add. Frankly, my twenty year old mind couldn't relate. This was, perhaps, the first time I truly began to realize how ADHD made me different from other people.
As an adult, I know that most people won't enjoy receiving a small novel in the mail every week, but that awareness was slow in coming. I have spent many years filling people's inboxes with my incredibly long letters. Just be glad you aren't on my mailing list. When I get going proving that Anthropogenic Global Warming is a farce, the mail servers of the internet bleed from the burden of passing my missive along. I have two brothers who won't get into political discussions with me anymore because their cute or snarky partisan quips inspire large fact-filled tomes in response with URLs, quotes, and lessons in history.
Fortunately, I have learned not to do that to business contacts and strangers. I try to keep my phone calls and letters brief, but there is always a nagging feeling that I wasn't brief enough.
People with ADHD who manage to sit down long enough to write a letter have one of three problems. Let's explore these problems and discuss a way to manage them.
Simply put, these letter writers cut to the crash, bypassing the entire scene showing the initial transgression of the law and the speedy car chase through neon lit streets. They lack social graces and blurt out what they are writing about with all the élan of a freight train.
Have you read my blog lately? This one might be self-explanatory, but these writers have a tangential relationship with the point of the letter. After paragraphs of side commentary and fascinating discussions of unrelated topics, they might meander towards the point somewhat towards the end.
These writers, bless their hearts, may never reach the point of the letter. There are words. The words are linked in that wordy way that we are accustomed to. However, by the end of the letter the reader must don a Sherlock Holmes hat and reread the letter looking for clues as to the letter's purpose.
There is a way to fix all of the above problems. I share this secret with you now so that you can get the girl or boy of your dreams, land that job interview, or finally get somebody to understand why you wrote to them in the first place.
Write the point of the letter first.
When I write a letter, I'll first jot down what the point of the letter is before writing anything else. Once I've made sure that my point is clear, I'll add in the niceties.
Once that part is out of the way, I add the social padding that letters need, such as soft introduction, a paragraph reminding them of our relationship, and a conclusion, then rewrite the letter to fit. I always keep brevity in mind. Whether I succeed at it or not is up for debate.
By putting the point of the letter down first, a long-winded or unfocused ADHD writer can avoid some of the pitfalls of their writing style. Likewise, the short-worded writer can now go back and pad his writing to avoid curtness and lack of social niceties.
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When I was courting my wife for the the final and most important time, we were 2000 miles apart and could only "date" via phone and letter. This was 1987 and computers were still something you needed access to the lab for, which means I wrote her letters by hand. I wrote so much that I gave up on individual sheets of paper and instead purchased notebooks. I'd fill a notebook up then mail it off while filling up the next. I have no idea if she truly read the libraries of letters I sent her. I can only assume she did since she knew what she was getting into and agreed to my proposal a few months later, but at the time I was bothered by the fact she didn't write back in reply. She would tell me that she didn't see the point. After four hours on the phone she had little more to add. Frankly, my twenty year old mind couldn't relate. This was, perhaps, the first time I truly began to realize how ADHD made me different from other people.
As an adult, I know that most people won't enjoy receiving a small novel in the mail every week, but that awareness was slow in coming. I have spent many years filling people's inboxes with my incredibly long letters. Just be glad you aren't on my mailing list. When I get going proving that Anthropogenic Global Warming is a farce, the mail servers of the internet bleed from the burden of passing my missive along. I have two brothers who won't get into political discussions with me anymore because their cute or snarky partisan quips inspire large fact-filled tomes in response with URLs, quotes, and lessons in history.
Fortunately, I have learned not to do that to business contacts and strangers. I try to keep my phone calls and letters brief, but there is always a nagging feeling that I wasn't brief enough.
People with ADHD who manage to sit down long enough to write a letter have one of three problems. Let's explore these problems and discuss a way to manage them.
1) Too Brief
Simply put, these letter writers cut to the crash, bypassing the entire scene showing the initial transgression of the law and the speedy car chase through neon lit streets. They lack social graces and blurt out what they are writing about with all the élan of a freight train.
2) Too Long-winded
Have you read my blog lately? This one might be self-explanatory, but these writers have a tangential relationship with the point of the letter. After paragraphs of side commentary and fascinating discussions of unrelated topics, they might meander towards the point somewhat towards the end.
3) Too Unfocused
These writers, bless their hearts, may never reach the point of the letter. There are words. The words are linked in that wordy way that we are accustomed to. However, by the end of the letter the reader must don a Sherlock Holmes hat and reread the letter looking for clues as to the letter's purpose.
There is a way to fix all of the above problems. I share this secret with you now so that you can get the girl or boy of your dreams, land that job interview, or finally get somebody to understand why you wrote to them in the first place.
Write the point of the letter first.
When I write a letter, I'll first jot down what the point of the letter is before writing anything else. Once I've made sure that my point is clear, I'll add in the niceties.
Dear So and So,
You owe me money.
All the best,
Douglas
Once that part is out of the way, I add the social padding that letters need, such as soft introduction, a paragraph reminding them of our relationship, and a conclusion, then rewrite the letter to fit. I always keep brevity in mind. Whether I succeed at it or not is up for debate.
Dear So and So,
It was wonderful chatting with you seven months ago. Working on that logo for you was a highlight in my career.
I regret to say that the check you claimed was in the mail has never made its destination. I've allowed for mail delays due to Spring and Summer, but now that the Fall is upon us I must come to the conclusion that we'll need to make other arrangements.
As you know, I'm of Italian descent and my cousin, Vinnie, has agreed to come by your place of work to collect my earnings. I wouldn't try to avoid him. He can be cranky. Just a heads up between old and dear friends.
All the best,
Douglas
By putting the point of the letter down first, a long-winded or unfocused ADHD writer can avoid some of the pitfalls of their writing style. Likewise, the short-worded writer can now go back and pad his writing to avoid curtness and lack of social niceties.
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Comments
Then, while still doing seventy-five, he threw the door open, leaned way out and peered under the car, abrading his scalp on the pavement. He could see a veritable flood of oil spurting from the sagging engine block. This crap, he thought, should never happen with a Slant 6 engine.
Now angrier still, he produced a rusty Ping putter from the back seat and jammed it under the car, aiming for the suspected crack in the engine block. The putter became caught in the transaxle and just about threw him right out of the vehicle -- he clung fast to the steering wheel but pulled it sharply to the left in the process, rolling it onto its side and on top of him. They skidded down the Everett Turnpike amid a shower of sparks and an unholy screeching noise. He swore -- the car was really heavy and was digging into his side in a big way -- and threw his weight to one side with all his might. The car righted itself and he popped back inside, slamming the door. Now the air bag light was on and he punched that one out, too.
"Boys of Summer" was blaring from the tinny speakers, and it didn't seem suited to the occasion, so he popped Henley out and slotted a Yanni tape into the deck with one hand, deft as can be. He adjusted the fade and had drawn in a breath to start singing the obscene lyrics he'd just made up on the spot when the C-V joint gave way. The Dart pitched forward and the grill tore up a good chunk of the freeway as the car slid roughly along. Some guy in a passing Winnebago peppered the side of the slowing Dart with stuff he'd collected from the camper's chemical toilet and sneezed, winking behind his Foster Grants as he stubbed out a marijuana stogie on his sleeping wife's bosom.
Just wanted to say that the advice you give about getting to the point right away is applicable to all types of writing, and is worth keeping in mind at all times. Thanks!
bexter ~ ROFL I kept waiting for the word "viagra" to appear in your very long winded fantasy car trip.
And as a side note, why does my Mac know that "viagara" is not the proper spelling?
Anyway, thanks for the comment. I hope you pour that creativity into a book project one day. ;)
~Douglas
Glad you liked it, Doug.
Just then every kid on the cross-country team the dude once coached materialized from shadowy corners of the parking lot and from within the eating establishment itself. They were all raring for a fight. The thing was, the guy in the camper was about eight feet tall at the shoulder and smelled like the business end of a Macaque monkey; he wouldn't crumble easily. The dude hadn't been in a fist fight in years, and had never fought in the buff, but he was about to make up for lost time. He ordered his still-twitching companion to get her narrow ass out of the Dart and into the fray, and sure enough she cavorted straight toward the action, causing thirteen teenaged boys to become painfully aroused at precisely the same time. One of the kids started taunting the camper guy about his body odor. At this point seven or eight overweight adolescents piled out of the camper wielding various implements -- pillows, chair legs, spittoons. This was going to be ugly, but the dude wasn't going top stand around and wait for the roof to cave in, so he reared back and fired a half-eaten hot dog he'd fished out of a nearby dumpster right into the eye of one of Camper Man's tubby kids. Bright yellow mustard spattered into the lad's eye and he yowled in consternation.
I do dream of writing publishable fiction one day.
That set things off in a hurry. The air was filled with the sounds of knuckles whacking against heads and torsos, and onlookers could almost visualize the "BAM!" "OOF!" and "POW!" text balloons from the '60s and '70s hit "Batman" rising above the burgeoning fray. The dude waded in and started rallying, arms and legs akimbo, a veritable paragon of spindly aggression. The dude wished he'd brought his blaze orange knit cap, which made him look and feel quite tough. Something bashed him in the back of the head: a dog-eared Furby with a malfunctioning speech mechanism. He went down hard but bounced right up, adrenalin keeping the pain at bay. His kids, bless them, were just going nuts. Not one of them weighed over 120 pounds but they were picking their foes up like rag dolls and throwing them against handy rows of garbage cans, just like they'd seen in Jackie Chan movies. It was unbridled freaking bedlam. Three of the kids had climbed as high as Camper Man's broad shoulders and were trying to take him down like leopards attacking a giraffe. He kept spinning around and throwing them free, at which point one of them would break foul wind and start the others laughing while birds (not the same seagulls mentioned before; most of these were Baltimore Orioles) dropped lazily from the sky.
...since we're fighting our own personality all the way through
word for the day is "tinge."
Step one: I love you
Step two: crumple paper
Step three: I love you
Step four: crumple paper
:)
~Douglas