Remember the other day when I joked about how I should just pick out a cemetery plot and write my own eulogy because of all the senior citizen junk mail I receive? Well, apparently the direct marketers who think I'm a retired, octogenarian with hearing loss read my blog and wanted to help me along the path to interment. They've sent me the pitch of a lifetime.Dear Citizen,
We are pleased to announce a Senior Final Expense Program to help pay what the government does not pay for your funeral expense...
The letter goes on about how little I receive under Social Security and how much it costs to be properly buried. Very cheery. All I need do is supply them with more personal information and check a box on how much money I want. I wonder how much it will cost to be buried in my very own mausoleum in the shape of a MacBook? Hey, at least that way I can assure I'll be remembered. Especially if the lid opens up on Halloween.
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