Giving Up Before You Begin?

Poor Jon. He seems destined to remain a shlub for the rest of his life. From the looks of things, he's long since settled into his role.
That reminds me of another role. I attended a High School play recently and the lead actress seemed to mope about the stage at odds with her supposedly chipper, upbeat character. She rarely looked up at the audience, and smiled only once — at the closing scene. It made me wonder if she was smiling out of relief that the play was finally over.
I asked my daughter about the actress later. I wondered if she had a bad case of nerves. Although my daughter acknowledged that was the case, she also made an interesting comment. Apparently, this young actress was so worried about the poor state of preparation of the play she went on stage in low spirits practically guaranteeing failure. Fortunately for the play she was not the only actor onstage.
Not to pick on the poor girl, but isn't that just like life? How many people do you know, perhaps even yourself, where the outcome was predetermined before even beginning? Then the task was undertaken with no faith, no determination, and no resolve to succeed. Instead, the task was endured as a burden — a self-fulfilling prophesy of failure.
Depressives are particularly prone to this type of thinking. They're already halfway there with the oppressive feelings of heavy sadness. It doesn't take much to push us into the world of bleak pessimism. Honestly, if we think we've got it bad now, imagine how bad it will be if we give up? What I have learned through years of hard experience, however, is that just because I am depressed doesn't mean I have to be miserable.
In fact, I learned that I closed doors of opportunity simply by nature of being pessimistic. I wasn't expecting anything good to happen to me, so I was never looking out for it. I did manage to find plenty to justify my self-pity, however. To a degree, this is that highly touted law of attraction, though I believe it is more a case of tuning one's radio to the wrong stations as opposed to the nebulous Universe waiting to grant your wishes.
Instead of experiencing self-fulfilling prophesies of doom, let us all work harder on liking ourselves and pushing to make the best of any situation. That's why I work so hard to change my thinking. I know that if I can change my thinking, I can change my life. Depression loses much of its power over me then.
And that actress? Well, the second night came around and I hear she put on a fantastic show. Her nerves got the better of her the first time around, but she was better prepared for the second. There's a lesson to be learned in that.
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Comments
Wise Words Douglas. The more people who take responsibility for what they create in life, the better place the world will be.
Kristopher
The Golden Flow Blog
So... I randomly surfed onto your ADHD Blog (Eric, it turns out, has ADD, as do both our sons), and followed links to the Absentminded Artist. I can't think of anything clever to say, so I'll just go with, "Hi! It's wierd and kinda nice to run into old friends online!"
I've searched, and can't find much of your current artwork. Are you on DeviantArt or anything? The watercolor painting "Faerie Woods" is really fantastic!
Anyway, I've enjoyed reading your back-blogs, and look forward to getting to know you again through future writing.
--Kathy Lowe (formerly Summers, next door neighbor and general pest) natsunekko at hotmail dot com
Yeah, sorry about the email form. I've never been able to get that form to work well since moving hosts. It's so intermittent. I'll be removing it during the redesign.
I haven't done much art since I stopped working for that scrap book paper company. I really liked "Faerie Woods" and wanted to do more, but the owner hated it, even though it sold out. What are you going to do, right?
Right after hanging up my scrapbook paper hat, I became quite busy as a fulltime Dad. I did two podcasts with my girls, and by the fall of 2005 I was a homeschool teacher and trying to help my oldest girl train to be in the entertainment industry. It's been fun, but busy. In my free time I write. To be published as a writer is my biggest goal at the moment.
I haven't updated Absentminded Artist in so long it's criminal. I promise I'll do something there soon. I want to take down all the old art and put up new art. Joe Monson's forcing my hand. He's registered me for Conduit this year. Pressure's on.
I'm glad you found my blog. I became disabled years ago when you were still my neighbor. I hid it from people because I was ashamed, but it might make my irregularity make more sense for you in hindsight. If you're poking about the site I'm sure you found the video I made of myself. That's the worst of it and why I don't medicate my ADHD. Some people take issue with my no meds stance. I hope that you can find something here useful for your family.
Thanks for commenting!
Douglas
I'm glad you have found a solution that works for your family and can allow others a different solution. That's unfortunately very rare in the mental health industry. ;)
Nice to hear from you again.
while i can keep certain feelings of impending failure @ bay when tackling pet projects, other aspects like human relationships, dealing with matters outside of specialtie(s)
..is very nerve wracking and problematic at times
Always take pride in the small accomplishments. One step at a time. You can't expect more of yourself than that when Depression grips you. Good luck!
Anonymous ~ Excellent comment. I'm glad you shared. I've covered that topic before, but I could always address it again. It's worth revisiting.
It's also possible I've only touched on self-hate and haven't dedicated a blog entry to it. You've touched on the key element to climbing out of Depression. You have accomplished the first step: to recognize it when it is happening. However, you're bumping into a complication we depressives have: the tendency to self-loathe. As you can see, it defeats your efforts to uplift yourself.
I had to train myself to like myself. That was how I climbed out. It was all part of that "enforced optimism" process I went through years ago when I was at my worst.
Please allow me to go into detail in a dedicated article. I can try to have it ready by Monday, but I'm swamped so may need your forgiveness if I don't. Subscribe to my feed or bookmark the site. My next serious article will be on this subject.
Thanks for commenting.
~Douglas