Sunday, January 27, 2013

Frustration Is the Only Constant

Sunday - Entry 23:

Day 33. One positive aspect of my recent (and ongoing) bout with illness has been a renewed appreciation for the vast amount of time I actually have available to me. Another aspect has been the refining of my personal drive onto one project to spend that vast amount of time on. I wake up thinking about my current Depression book now and how much work I have left on it. This is such a difference from the usual nightly routine where I remember to work on the book when I’m suppose to be going to sleep.

The shame is that I am finally starting to feel better, but I have the kids now and am having a very difficult time managing my time properly. So all I am accomplishing towards my book goal is waking up thinking about my book, but not really working on it. This is more than frustrating.

Of course, I’ve only had the children for three days and I should cut myself some slack. Juggling personal projects with work and single parenthood is difficult on the best of days, never mind when handicapped by the flu & bronchitis. However, the sickness has been so long-lasting that frustration is the only constant in my life. I live in fear that the clarity I have will evaporate as soon as I’m healthy enough to allow ADHD free whimsical rein to piddle away my precious time on pointless but very interesting pursuits.