Saturday, April 06, 2013

I Pushed Through the Stupor of My Brain

Saturday - Entry 30:

It may be 6:15am, but I am very pleased with myself. I pushed through the stupor my brain has been under since the accident and finished my freelance assignments. It is such a good feeling.

Not only did I complete my freelance work despite my addled mind, but I significantly increased my rate of output. Considering that the first two articles took over three days to complete, getting my output back to less than 30 minutes per article was reason to celebrate.

I rewarded myself with an episode of Elementary since I was too wired to sleep. I also did sit-ups, folded laundry, got another load going, and cleaned the living room. All before 6am. As I said, I was wired.

I realize that whiplash, even mild forms of it, can make a mind a quivering puddle of goo, so I am thankful for the elasticity of our minds and their ability to heal. I feel in hindsight that I was rather lucky to have escaped the accident with as little damage as I did. Still, I have tried to be patient with myself while I recuperated. I may have escaped relatively unscathed, but there were still injuries that have affected my state of mind.

Because I pre-wrote my blogs last month, they published automatically while I dealt with the car accident. Unfortunately, I didn't pre-write them into April. I'm afraid I ran out. Instead of producing new articles this past week, however, I decided to focus on my freelance work instead. Some readers had cautioned me to not push myself, which was wise advice, but I needed to push for the freelance work. I couldn't put the client off any further. If my brain is a muscle, it's all buff and ripped now. Plus pooped.

This experience showed me how important my ADHD coping strategies were. I was able to rely on them because I had ingrained them. When focusing on tasks while confused, I quiet the din in my head by focusing only on one task. It helps me plod forward despite distractions. Also, when concentration is difficult to achieve, I plan in breaks. That's what I did last night as I worked in 20-25 minute blocks. I pushed forward only after each break. It was important to make sure that the breaks were timed, too.

Next week, more blogs. This weekend I will happily work on my Depression book and nothing else. All that freelance work has shown me the importance of nurturing my own garden.