8:01 PM: I'm not sure what is going on with the Brownie, but she's taking her toll on me. I was so anxious about her public fit yesterday, plus money worries, that I was awake in bed until 5am. I woke again at 6:20am, and got her on the bus, then fell asleep again. Unfortunately, I slept through my alarm letting me know that my oldest daughter (the Pixie) was going to have her song played on a country station that had a stream. Such a precious moment lost. Yes, I am emotionally and physically drained on top of my own problems, but what comfort is that to my daughter thousands of miles away in Germany? Sometimes reasons why just sound like excuses.
I got ready, quickly got caught up with news, tried to salve the Pixie's feelings, then headed off to the Brownie's school early. Today was the first day of therapy for her, and I didn't want to be late. After she wandered off as I was reaching into the back seat to get my bag, getting lost and causing me yet another heart attack, we were in the waiting room with time to spare. The session went well, rush hour traffic home was as clogged and lethargic as it is anywhere in the world, and I got to work cleaning the kitchen and making dinner.
I don't know about you, but sometimes when I know I have to be somewhere, I won't let myself work because of my tendency to become hyperfocused and lose track of time. It's taken me a long time to get to where I can sit down and finally write in my book.
The research is going well. I believe Section III will be complete tonight—barring any emergency family nightmare scenarios—but I'll believe it when I see it. I've got a few hundred words in, rewrote much of what I'd written before, and now I'm a hair away from being finished with this section for good.
It makes me wish I had stated I'd finish this book in 7-10 days like Smith's experiment that inspired me. I'm thinking ten days sounds much more realistic than my original goal of a week. As chaotic as my life has been this week due to external circumstances, I have learned so much by forcing myself to take on this goal. I feel very upbeat about my progress.
