This is “Writing in a Fishbowl v3 – Day Ten”, but I’m going to title it something more descriptive for the ebook promotion. Read on for the scintillating details.
2:54 PM: My day began with alarming, dank dreams that I cannot describe since my daughters read this blog.
Well, that’s all I really wanted to say about the subject.
Yes, my mind is in a fog today, but I can still make out the road, and I haven’t run over any mailboxes yet. In fact, I’m starting to find some clarity. I just realized that I turn fifty in two days. Yes, there it is! The adrenaline rush of regret and fear is sweeping the fog away as I type. Birthdays mean year end goals for me. I still haven’t posted the first chapter of my new book, nor have I begun writing my middle grade novel as I promised myself. I also haven’t begun dating again. I suppose there’s still time to accomplish all of those goals before I hit the half century mark. I’m formulating the Craigslist ad right now:
SWM seeking SWF to help break divorce doldrums. Must date before Friday. I’m totally not desperate at all. Transcendent beings preferred. No Smokers.
I may need to sit on that one for a bit.
In the meantime, my new book, Pokémon Legendaries in 7 Easy Steps, is ready for you to enjoy, assuming you play Pokémon with your kids, or even by yourself. It is both a parent’s guide and a pathway towards cracking the Pokémon Global Trading System to get almost any Pokémon that you might want. The mythical legendaries are unobtainable, obviously, since they are special event Pokémon, but using my trading method will help you complete your or your kids’ national pokédex in a few short months. It’ll take some time to collect over 700 Pokémon, but setting up trades is painless. You can set a new one up every night and complete your dex in less than two years! Maybe that’s not such a great sales pitch. You might want to be a tad more aggressive than that. In the meantime, you can score yourself some sweet Pokémon Legendaries within a day or two. AND, unlike recent Nintendo products, my ebook will always be in stock.
As I mentioned in other blog posts, I took on this project as a break from Saying “NO” to Suicide. Because of false starts and endless rewrites, that project took two years. I needed a light-hearted break. Even if you don’t play Pokémon XY* or Omega Ruby & Alpha Sapphire*, or have children to play those games with, you can gift the ebook to somebody that might appreciate it. For Christmas, I’ll be doing just that. I’d like to gift eleven piping Kindle readers my new ebook, and as well as ten a’leaping iBooks readers, and nine dancing Kobo readers. All you need to do is promise to write an honest review soonish, like before I turn fifty. Also, when I have your email address, I'll bug you ever so gently about the review, but I won't sell your email address to Russian hackers. That's a promise. Obviously, I’ll be wanting to see ★★★☆☆ to ★★★★★ reviews, but I’m not demanding them. I think that’s unethical (which means you will need to reveal in your review that you got the book from me for free). If you leave me a ★☆☆☆☆ review, just be kind, but I find ★★★★★ reviews to be the kindest. No pressure.
To be one of the Kindle, iBooks, or Kobo readers, be one of the first to reply. Follow @DouglasCootey on Twitter. Tag me in a tweet when you do, and I’ll follow you back. Then DM me your email address. Or leave a comment on the A Splintered Mind Facebook page for this post.
Next up, I’ll post the first chapter of Twelve Ways to Fight Off Depression by the end of the day. Also, I will make cookies.
If you have a crazy need to catch them all, you should buy my book.
* Pokémon Sun & Moon came out when my book was in its last stages of production. It uses the GTS, but separately from XY & ORAS. I am currently testing the new game to learn its trade dynamics for another book in a few months.