Monday, September 27, 2010

My Brain Has a Flat, but I'm Jammin' the Tunes, So I'm OK

SpokesSince identifying that Depression had sunk its hooks in me, I've been making a transformation in my life. First, I stopped wearing black and listening to The Cure, and I started wearing sepia and listening to Bluegrass & Country tunes about lost dreams to really brighten my day. "Whiskey Lullaby", "I Can't Love You Anymore", "If I Die Young", "Ghost In this House", and "Hurt" gave me that little extra oomph I needed.

So bring on the pain, let it kill your memory.
Bring on the rain, let it drown what's left of you and me.
I know the only way I'm ever gonna make it,
is burying the best of us even though it's killing me.
'Cuz I don't love you any less,
but I can't love you anymore.

Let me tell you. It's the small things that make a BIG difference. Wow. Am I happier…

Actually, I am happier. I fixed my bike flat and made myself go out for a ride on Friday. It was the first time out of the home in days and cemented the turning point. I tend to listen to dance music to pick my spirits up. With a set of vocal trance tracks loaded up on my iPhone, I just rode until my heart felt as if it would burst, and I loved every moment of it.

Today I'm feeling a bit down again due to a severe bout of insomnia over the weekend, so I'll be heading out for another bike ride in a few moments. 

Friday night: 2.5 hours
Saturday night: 5.5 hours
Sunday: 4 hour nap
Sunday night: 3 hours

Oh yeah, irregular sleep is completely optimal for productivity and happiness. I won't push as hard today on the bike for fear riding until my heart bursts might not be a good thing to achieve, but getting out will do me a galaxy of good. And in another attempt to stick Depression in the eye, I have set a writing goal for the day:

I will finish chapter four in #snkrz today

The only way to get to the end of this race is to stop sitting under the tree as a spectator and get up and ride. Today is crucial for overcoming Depression. If I don't offset the sadness by force of will, it will become the only thing I feel again. Then I won't even be a spectator. 

Off to the races!

Update: My bike has another flat, dang it!

Next time: What Dave Farland told me about ADHD.
Follow me on Twitter for my ADHD escapades at @SplinteredMind or my novel writing project over at @DouglasCootey. And if you're a glutton for punishment you can friend me on Facebook as well.