Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Writing in a Fishbowl: Day Twelve

Nifty logo of words in a fishbowl

7:52 PM: The day has been a typical one with the Brownie. I'm so worried about that girl. So volatile. So overtired. So in danger of having a seizure. If only she'd go to bed for me.

Last night, I spent the evening ticking while binge watching Toradora! on Crunchyroll—all while continuing my research. One day that'll make sense, but for now you'll have to trust me. Research is all done for that part. It turns out I had started making a chart for one reason, then forgot the reason and continued with another reason. Yay, ADHD. I should have taken better notes. I'll clean up my research tonight while I wait for the Brownie to fall asleep, but for now I can MOVE FORWARD. A two day setback wasn't in my plans.

It's easy to get discouraged. I have dreams, plans, aspirations…but they all get mutilated when my life's obstacles start spinning out of control. This project has been so helpful, however, in forcing me to see what is broken in my world, and therefore what I need to fix.

Now, back to writing. My Wensday goal is likely a bust, but I won't stop until I'm finished. If I didn't have goals, what would I work towards?


5:15 AM: I spent the entire evening in the ER. The Brownie became hysterical when we got home from her church youth group because I needed her to hurry to bed, but asked her to do a chore first. I know. I am the Great Evil. She was so hysterical, I had emergency services bring her to Primary Children's Hospital. That was fun having two policemen, a tag-a-long observer, and six paramedics & firemen in my home. Needless to say, I didn't get much writing done. The Brownie is the furnace of fire in which I will temper myself.

She's asleep soundly now, which is more than I can say for me. I watched stupid TV shows and read Twitter—both while in a stupor. But now that I'm coming out of my bout of depression, I think I'll write something that will make me smile. I haven't written a funny article for my blog in a while. Let's see if I can pull this off.

Tomorrow will be a challenge since the Brownie will be home all day, and I've hidden her 2DS and the gamepad to the Wii U. I'll also be hiding the remote controls, too. Yep. That's going to go over like a pillow filled with bricks, but I can't have her having a seizure on me. She's already had one this week, but her behavior is so off that one must be eminent. At the same time, I can't expect to write while supervising her. But I have to have faith this will all work out. If I go into tomorrow thinking it's a failure already, my discouragement will make that true.