Thirteen Reasons Why I Imagine Depression Could Be a Good Thing

Since I'm embarking on a month long project to write a novel, I can't post my usual columns every week and still meet the 50,000 word goal for November. Instead, I'm going to post these "Thursday Thirteen" entries. I've prepared most of them before November so that I can post them on schedule every Thursday at 1pm MST.

The point of Thursday Thirteen is to let you, the reader, learn more about me. Today I introduce you to my black sense of humor, developed over years of struggling with the blackest of moods, and bound to offend someone somewhere. I ran these all by my 11 & 14 year old daughters as a safeguard, however, and they approve. They even found them funny. This means that either I'm worrying about nothing again, or I have horribly bent my sweet children.

Thursday Thirteen
Thirteen Reasons Why I Imagine Depression Could Be a Good Thing


  1. It helps me seem really sensitive when I'm watching chick flicks with my wife.

  2. Nobody ever has to tell me to not get my hopes up.

  3. I don't have to worry about putting together mismatched outfits because all my clothes are black.

  4. The stock prices of my favorite chocolate companies are always going up.

  5. Since all my poetry sounds like suicide notes I have a very lucrative career writing songs for Emo bands.

  6. I don't have to worry about watering my plants because they can't grow in the darkness.

  7. Helps me obtain vast personal growth because I'm always eating.

  8. Good news is always a surprise because I don't ever expect it.

  9. I only have to pay for one ticket at the movies.

  10. I can get my mother off the phone fast whenever I start to talk about my feelings.

  11. I get the couch all to myself at parties because nobody wants to chat with me.

  12. I get to know all the hotty operators at the Crisis Hotline.

  13. Election day results don't phase me because I'm already down

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!




Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!





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Comments

Anonymous said…
Now that is classic. I agree with each and every thing on your list; only with No. 1, I'd have to substitute 'wife' with 'husband' or 'boyfriend,' as I am a girl. (Not that I have a boyfriend, which is one of the good things I like about my depression at the moment.)

Sorry to have been such a lurker, 'cause I have been and haven't hardly commented at all.

You're doing NaNoWriMo, too? Good luck this month!!
Carol said…
I agree with your daughters! Those are funny! Thanks for visiting my T13 - and I'm trying to figure out if you are pulling my leg about losing 10 pounds by standing up at the computer!!! :-)
Anonymous said…
Haha! You rock!
I especially like #7, I laughed out loud.


You are very inspirational.
Anonymous said…
#1 & #3 cracked me up. I remember when people started to tell me I needed to add color to my wardrobe. Apparently dark brown, dark purple, dark wine, and dark green weren't what they meant.
D.R. Cootey said…
Mouse ~ Yeah! You shouldn't lurk! Shame on you. For penance you must post comments every week for the next, um, 52! That's it! :)

Yes, I am doing NaNoWriMo. I plan on putting one of their little nifty widgets up on my site over the weekend to prove that I am typing up a storm. I've been working on this novel's backstory for 4 years now. Oh, not everyday for 4 years. I've been busy being a fulltime Dad, making scrapbook papers, designing logos, being a fulltime Dad, etc. But I'd always come back to it. Well, one of my 40th year goals was to get that blasted novel written. When December loomed and I learned of NaNoWriMo (or remembered about it, actually) I figured that would be a great boost. I just want to have a first draft done because I'm so busy, but if we don't make goals we don't get anything accomplished. ;)

Good luck to you, too!

Carol ~ Ha! Well, it was true. I really did lose 10 pounds just standing. The tendons in my left foot were damaged Irish Step Dancing so I couldn't exercise. But standing I could do. I've got a link around here somewhere, but there was a 20/20 segment about it. You might be able to Google for it. We'll see how November goes. I don't expect the same rresults. And I don't fancy writing a novel while standing unless I'm writing a part where everybody's in a hurry. ;)

Esther ~ Thank you. That one made my wife laugh, too.

N. Mallory ~ Haha! That's great. Well, my wardrobe isn't quite as bad as I pretend, but I do really favor those darker colors. ;)


Thanks for posting, everyone!
natalie said…
#7 -- personal growth is always good!

thanks for the visit!
tiara said…
Douglas, I love this list!!
Anonymous said…
Douglas I LOVED this list! I may have found my new career thanks to #5...but don't worry because #2 still applies too. I'm tempted to start my own list of why depression could be a good thing, but it will have to wait until December when nanowrimo is over -- yeah i too am going for the goal of 50k. Best of luck to you!
Anonymous said…
#1 I don't have to worry about what to make for dinner...I won't eat it anyway.

#2 Skin cancer doesn't scare me much. I don't go out in the sun.

#3 I have developed a freakish tolerance for alcohol.

#4 I have the freedom to say what's on my mind.

#5 I become adept at hiding my feelings in order to function and keep attention focused else where.

#6 The ups of life feel so much more sweet, warmer, more precious.

#7 I save money on make-up.

#8 I am the hottie at the crisis center.

#9 I'm not bogged down with sexual performance anxiety.

#10 I won't pull a muscle dancing to the music.

#11 My family leaves me alone.

#12 I don't have to pretend that I give a !@#$.

#13 I don't give a !$#@.
D.R. Cootey said…
Natalie, Titania ~ Thanks for posting. Glad you liked the list! ;)

Staci ~ NaNoWriMo may be a bust for me. I'm just too busy. And my novel wasn't planned out enough. I'm motivated, however, to get cracking on the backstory - filling in the little details I had left empty. I may not meet the 50K goal, but I'm happily writing. But I'm so busy with homeschooling my girls and freelance work that it's just one thing too many on most days.

scarletsphinx ~ I really liked points 6 thru 8, especially #8. ;) Ended a bit dark. I don't know if points 12 & 13 are really benefits as opposed to symptoms of Depression. Or maybe I just found someone with blacker humor than my own. ;) Hang in there. I think your poetry is a great outlet for personal expression.

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