A Splintered Mind

Life has been tough lately. (I know, somebody call the Waaahmbulance.) So if I told you that I haven't been writing, you might not be surprised. I'm currently unemployed, dealing with crushing Depression , and still recovering from being divorced. (Yeah, it's been seven months. No, I'm not over it yet. Let's see you get over the end of a 23 year marriage quickly. No, please, show me. I'd really like to know how.) But the fact is that I have been writing. My problem has been that I'm writing too many things. You know me. I'm Mr. Too Many Irons in the Fire. It's my Wampanoag Indian surname. I'm sure my ancient Sachem ancestor would be proud of me. (Actually, I would love to know what that name was in Wampanoag. Too bad the colonials stamped out Wampanoag culture after King Phillip's War .) Anyway, where were we? Mr. Too Many Irons in the Fire. I have one finished middle grade novel, another on the back burner, three or four finishe...

For all my self-perceived unproductivity, I never stop working. Ever. From morning to night I am pushing myself to be productive. Oh, there are distractions aplenty, to be sure. I don't plan them in, and they throw off my schedule. Then I am tempted to scowl aplenty while I scurry around trying to salvage my day. I've been doing that a lot lately. Tonight, however, I gave myself permission to spin. I got in my car, drove to the grocery store, and loaded up with licorice. It's National Licorice Day again, don't you know? What a festive time of year where grown men can buy vast amounts of candy and shock cashiers across the nation. Most cashiers can't imagine liking licorice enough to purposefully buy six different kinds of it. Perhaps Hallmark is at fault. I couldn't find any National Licorice Day cards to share with friends and family. I'm certainly not eating it all tonight, but it was fun to splurge on some fancier types I don't usually get. I sampled...

Lately I've been working on an eBook based on my experiences with ADHD and iPhones. It seemed a fitting project to take my blog writing to the next level. I enlisted the aide of a friend to help keep me on track just in case my ADHD or Depression waylaid my progress. As he looked over my eBook task list and the subjects I would be covering, he noticed an omission and texted me: Maybe have [a section] for "Oh! Shiny!" on ways to avoid distractions (like going to news sites and spending hours there instead of doing what you're supposed to be doing)? What‽ It's like he knows me or something. The funny thing was that I was momentarily shocked. How could I have forgotten that simple aspect of ADHD management? Didn't I used to do that? Didn't I used to use my iPhone to keep track of my online time? And why wasn't I doing that anymore? Oh, that explained soooo very much lately. Getting divorced and setting up a new home had knocked me off my ol...

Update 2016: This article was featured in my book "Saying NO to Suicide" , with added commentary. I thought the last few years had been pretty tough as my 23 year marriage dissolved around me, but nothing prepared me for divorce. Wow. It's as if my heart has been scooped out with a spork, stomped on, kicked to the curb, then lit on fire. Not that I'm being melodramatic or anything. Since hitting the six month post-divorce mark and realizing that dating would be dangerous at this time despite how lonely I was (or because of it), and watching my bank account go from black to red to blood red, I haven't been the happiest of people. I think the clincher was when I realized that I found single mums with kids HOT only on weeks that I didn't have my girls. That's pretty pathetic, don't you think? And the fables people told me of LDS women waiting in the wings for worthy men such as myself used to irritate me, but now make me laugh. Yes, somewhere there mu...

You may recall that I have ADHD . It's something that has come up now & then on this blog. One of the hallmarks of ADHD is an unbelievable memory. No, really. I can't believe all the times I forget things. Like where I put my garage door opener. I just spent two days looking for it because I failed to put it in its designated place. Lots of fun. Other things I forget are the items I go to the store for. That's why I create shopping lists. Of course, there's no hope for me if I forget to put something on the list. But the worst case of all is when I forget why I picked up my iDevice. I can be guaranteed an hour of distraction easily then. Maybe two. Then time flies by and the important item that needed doing is never done. Regrettably, there is always something more important to do than read more news or catch up on social networks. That's why I get cross with myself when I waste time, and that's why I try to stop distraction cold at the Lockscr...

I've been dealing with a lot of Depression lately. Oh, I dunno. Maybe it has something to do with the divorce and being lonely and having unsteady employment. It could be because my teeth are too yellow & spaced to attract anything other than an ivory collector. Most likely it has more to do with a lack of focus in my life and a need for a BIG GOAL. Or maybe I'm depressed just because. That is the nature of the beast, isn't it? Wait, no. It's the lack of money. Gotta have more of that stuff. Last week I was hit deeply with a funk, like it had landed on my head from above and came in the form of a very obese walrus. I just lay on my living room floor, totaled by Depression's blubbery arrival and looking up at the fan. Fortunately for me ADHD always comes to the rescue. There is only so much fan twirling I can take in before my mind begins demanding I do ANYTHING else to relieve the boredom. Another fortunate thing for me was that the Elf was home and could watch...

I refer to my thirteen year old affectionately as the Leprechaun. It's a name based more on her Irish impish disposition than her luck. In fact, she's been anything but lucky lately as her head has become a magnet for impact damage. It seems that if there is anything around her that is capable of konking her on the noggin, not only will she be in its path, but it will fail to miss. The downside is that since she got her first concussion when walking into the Beast's chair on stage as Belle last month, she has not healed. Headaches and occasional blackouts have kept us worried. So there we were in the night time pediatrics unit awaiting her prognosis. There was the waiting and the waiting and the CT scan and the waiting and the waiting. During all this time I played with my iPhone while she texted on hers. Then our phones died and we were forced to talk to each other. All in all, not a bad Daddy/daughter date. She appreciated me helping her out even though it wasn...