A Splintered Mind

For the past week, I’ve been stressing out over an upcoming event: my return to the dating pool . I can’t say that my swim went well. First, I paced back and forth on the pool deck, eyeing the water suspiciously. Then I stuck a toe in, but quickly retreated to a safe distance. Wet! It was much too wet. Then I shook myself off, scheduled my swim, awaited my moment, and dressed for the occasion. I even took a selfie to send to my daughters before I took the plunge. In the photo, I’m so nervous in my bathing suit, I don’t recognize the man looking back at me. There’s something wrong with his face. He doesn’t look anything like me. It might be his rigor mortis smile, or the overly pink complexion moments before he begins to steam from apprehension. Whatever is ailing him, it doesn’t matter. Life managed to keep him away from the water 35 minutes before he was scheduled to dive in. The school gave me a call seconds after I took the selfie. My daughter was ...

This month, no, my life isn’t going as planned. It brings to mind a certain poem: ❝But, Mousie, thou art no thy-lane, In proving foresight may be vain; The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men Gang aft agley, An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain, For promis’d joy! ~ “To a Mouse, on Turning Her Up in Her Nest With the Plough”, Robert Bruns, November 1785 I know. It’s not the most upbeat outlook, and Steinbeck repurposed it better, but life certainly does have a way of uprooting our carefully built nests. In response, I could get frustrated, or I could get creative. I chose the creative solution, even if it feels a bit bleak—even for me. ~Dˢ ⁂ New blog posting later tonight.

I was recently contacted by a college student who requested an email interview. I share the answers below because the interviewer asked excellent questions. If you follow my blog, then you’ll already know that I have been diagnosed with Clinical Depression (Major Depressive Disorder) , Adult ADHD , and Chronic Tic Disorder (Tourette’s) . What you may not know is what I get out of blogging about my experiences with these conditions. This was the one of the questions the interviewer asked that made me think. Why on earth do I do this?

Sometimes taking care of your own depression can be accomplished by taking care of somebody else. I’ve been incredibly stressed and depressed lately, so when my 2nd oldest daughter, Cathryn, suggested last month that we celebrate the birthday of my youngest daughter, the Brownie, with a trip into the mountains, I thought it was a fantastic idea. Fresh air up in the clouds sounded like the perfect salve for my soul. My spirits are often lifted by a change of scenery and some exercise. There was only one problem: the Brownie hates hiking.

❝Nothing like ADHD and a good fight to the death to make time fly.”   – Rick Riordan, The Lost Hero (The Heroes of Olympus, Book 1)  

“But a sanguine temper, though forever expecting more good than occurs, does not always pay for its hopes by any proportionate depression. It soon flies over the present failure, and begins to hope again.”   – Jane Austen, Emma, ch.18