Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Thankful for Thumbs

Wensday – Entry 42:

I have had more ticking days since my accident last Spring than the year and a half preceding it. With so much to do the day before Thanksgiving, I can little afford another ticking day. Yet here I am. 

As my right leg curls and my equilibrium evaporates, I find my mental acuity also impaired. This affects speech, organization, and productivity. Blessedly, I can still communicate with a keyboard. My WPM is severely cut down, but the path from my thoughts to my fingers remains intact. Even now two thumbs are a conduit from my brain to yours. I used to think this was odd, and certainly people have accused me of faking my disability due to this very ability to still communicate online when I claim I am home ticking, but now I wonder if it is an untapped opportunity. 

Unfortunately, blogging doesn't pay well, or as is usually the case, at all. That's why I am trying to finish my book. There is so much left to do on my 3rd draft, and I had hoped to finish today, but there is baking and cleaning and nurturing to do. Life cares little for my current four leg status.  

I just wish my heart felt more thankful today. I can only feel panic over unpaid and upcoming bills and a lack of funds to pay them. My ex-wife married yesterday and that has me feeling dissatisfied with my hermit's existence. And of course, Thanksgiving means that Christmas is next. My blog is supposed to be about fighting ADHD & Depression with attitude & humor, but I feel downright mopey instead today. 

So I am writing my thoughts and framing my mind and putting Depression behind me. I am thankful for thumbs and their ability to tap out my thoughts. If I hobble about quickly, and utilize the resident 15 year old, I may not complete everything, but I'll certainly complete more than I can sitting here on my couch.