A Splintered Mind

Another snapshot of an ADHD mind Feeling down today so I took a silly pill. Links to other Wordless Wednesdays! Wordless Wednesday Blogroll (I cannot vouch for the family or work safety of these blogs)

It's a new week. A new day. How shall I define myself today? I'm feeling a bit detached today. It's one of those ADHD days for me. I have plans. I know what I should be doing. I understand the goals, yet I am feeling that itchy, got-to-break-away-and-do-something-new feeling. In the past when I experienced this I would start a new website, project, or hobby. I wouldn't do it consciously, but head off in a new direction I would, each and every time. Since I've been training myself to not let ADHD rule my mind, I have become better aware of how I work and can recognize the symptoms before they wreak havoc in my life. These past few years have seen a tightening of my life. I'm a better Dad, hopefully a better husband, and a better worker. I seem to accomplish more, at any rate. Last week I attended a conference on children's literature and had my latest manuscript critiqued. I am happy to say it is every bit as good as I thought, no, hoped it was. The critiques...

In Which Conferences Both Bore and Thrill Me But I Survive Anyway I'm listening to Brandon Mull at the moment. He's not the most erudite speaker, but he has heart with a nice down to Earth sense of humor. He also has an infectious way of laughing at his own jokes. He is the author of the Fablehaven series. His amiable manner of speaking reminds me that I have a ways to go as far as self-comfort is concerned. I bring this up because I've spent the past two days at the UVSC Forum on Children's Literature . I've been out of my comfort zone. It's a small world I live in. I'm a full-time Dad. I work late at night on my freelance projects. Everything I do is online. I don't get out much unless I'm driving my girls somewhere. Coming to a conference is something I've never done before. It's been good and bad for me. On the upside I've made some good contacts, had a extremely positive experience having my current manuscript reviewed, and receiv...

Ah, yes. My daughter is now sweet sixteen. And boys drop by to visit her. I am so very, very not ready for this. I've had sixteen years to prepare, but still I feel as if this has all happened too quickly. Silly, no? Tonight my daughter continues her meteoric climb up. She has been asked to sing lead for a bluegrass band. I see her life building from one success to another. My wife, too, goes from one job to a better job, each one building upon skills she acquired through on-the-job training. My life, on the other hand, feels as if my successes are scattered randomly behind me, none linking to each other. As I wrap up a DVD project today, I undertake a web design project next, with another waiting in the wings after that. One would think I'd be excited about all this, and I am, but there's a nagging feeling in the back of my mind. Don't get me wrong. I truly am excited for the work, but each job feels like a 90° turn from the other. I suspect that's just me who feel...

Since placebos have been shown to be as effective as some current anti-depressants, can perky technopop from Japan have the same effect? This week is a busy one for me. I'm currently sitting in a parking lot awaiting my twelve year old to finish instructing her students at dance. As I sit here impatiently waiting to get on with my personal projects, I've been reflecting on an upcoming conference I'm attending. I've registered for the UVSC Forum for Children's Literature and submitted a manuscript for review, something that I have a great deal of apprehension about. Not for the obvious reasons like being afraid of rejection. I've already been sending that ms about for months and have started piling rejections up aplenty. No, I'm more worried about whether the reviewer's critique will be relevant or worth the $35 I paid. I discovered he wrote "Bunnies on the Go" and "Cars at Play" and other preschool books and I just wonder what he...

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It's been a while since I've recorded the wonderfully happy life I have under the power of an ADHD mind. I suppose I have been rather busy home schooling, mastering the penny whistle, mastering myself, writing a picture book, a chapter book, and starting a novel, as well as doing art therapy and meeting life goals. I don't have time for Adult ADHD. In fact, I am not all about ADHD, or Depression, or Chronic Motor Tic Disorder, or Insomnia for that matter. I just happen to be dealing with those issues. I've found success by not hating myself while learning to laugh at myself - all in good nature, of course. I'm not in denial of the pains and burdens my disabilities are for my family. You won't, for example, ever hear the following conversation: Me: Robyn, remember the time I was making ramen and I got distracted in the studio working? And I forgot about the ramen? And the water boiled away and the pan melted on the burner? Wasn't that hilarious!? Robyn: Err...

A reader of my blog asked me through the live chat window: Hi Douglas, first time reading your blog. Very interesting. A question that you may be able to answer; when I am bored my mind tends to wander to the negative...I can really work myself up into a sweat and shivers and feel really awful. I have noticed that if I can manage to keep myself busy and distract from my depression I can feel better...is this possible? Hello, aimguest1645505 (Great name!) Thanks for reading my blog. I'm glad you find it interesting. What you describe is very common in people with ADHD. In fact, negativity is a key diagnostic trait of ADHD. Hallowell & Ratey list it as criteria number ???. Some people with ADHD tend to worry and ruminate. Their minds fixate on things that can go wrong and, like yourself, they can become quite worked up over it. This can sometimes be misdiagnosed as an anxiety panic disorder. This was the case with me ages ago. The solution you have found is one very effective way...

Here's hoping you have a great weekend. I'm up to my eyes in projects and hopefully will make headway. I have finished much, but still have much to do. I took a break tonight from my labors to enjoy a mild distraction, The Tale of the Mall Ninja . Here is evidence that even successful writers suffer from distractions. I discovered the following on Neil Gaiman's blog and now share it with you. If a kid picks up a candy bar and runs, you give him a warning before you cuff him. Same with those mindless teenyboppers who go to the Hickory Farms store, and then take double samples of fruitcake and cheeselog, you warn them that they will be charged with a felony(grand theft), and that if they attempt to fight and run, they will be, unfortunately, first tazered, and if they continue to resist violently with intent to maim, then wounded. Fortunately, wounding fire to suppress teenage kleptomaniacs is relatively easy, they all run in straight lines, and a hit in the knee will be rel...