Friday, April 11, 2008

Weather Got You Down? Cheer Up. Soon It Will Drive You Crazy, Too.

Weather is a great metaphor for life - sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, and there's nothing much you can do about it but carry an umbrella. ~Pepper Giardino

bad weather by KingrayBe careful all those of you who let your moods change with the weather. You're going to be in a world of hurt if you don't knock it off. According to the World Health Organization, Climate Change (the politically correct version of Anthropogenic Global Warming which hedges their bets either way) can induce psychiatric illness.

Yes, I know. It may seem silly on the surface, but if you find yourself down in the dumps whenever the sky is dreary, you'll be avoiding the weather report daily from now on if predictions of global climatic calamity come true. Unfortunately for us, the climate changes all the time. It's a serious problem. Personally, I've noticed the climate changes in three month cycles getting progressively hotter then colder all through the year. I'm quite worried about it.

Worse yet, if you are the kind of person who becomes depressed or upset whenever Mother Nature drops a hurricane on top of your house. moves your home down the cliff in a mud slide, or burns your home up into the Giant Carbon Offset in the Sky, you'll definitely be cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs if computer models prove accurate and the world experiences more severe weather. The models haven't proven accurate so far, but you just know they will any year now. I hear Al Gore & company will be spending $300 million to help people like me stop doubting. Frankly, if he were to deposit some of that money directly into my bank account, I'd be more likely to worry along with him. I'm just saying.

Linking the weather to mental health is not a new development. People have been linking weather to their moods and health for ages. It's part of our culture. For example, I'm sure you've felt "under the weather" at some point or other. We've all heard of Seasonal Affective Disorder, or Winter Depression. I found a study from 1986 concerning "the effect of weather on mood, productivity, and the frequency of emotional crisis in a temperate continental climate". In 2004, a study claimed that warm weather boosted mood and broadened the mind - an upside to Global Warming to be sure. I also found a study dating just from last year that linked weather with mood and memory and found that 72°F outside in the sun is the optimal climate. They also quantified that excessive heat is bad for mood and makes thinking difficult. No kidding. What does all this mean? Basically, good weather is good for you and bad weather is bad for you. I'm glad these people are getting paid good money to figure this out for us. Now with the WHO report, we have the new headlines:

Bad Weather Events Depress People And Agitate Their Minds.
Natural Disasters are Traumatic to Live Through!
Climate Change Responsible For Driving Poor People Crazy.
"Blame It On The Weather," Cries Britney!

In short, we're all going to die, but only after we become insane and in greater need of psychiatric care.

You know how Hollywood likes to make fun of Christian preachers portending the end of the world? Those crazy Bible guys have nothing on the climate industry. That industry has figured out how to make a living out of doom and gloom. Waitaminute. Maybe they aren't so different from the Bible guys after all.

Now if you'll excuse me. The weather is too cold to go roller blading. I was counting on man-made Global Warming to kick Summer in early this year, but Spring's not even out of the gate. I think I'll be depressed for the afternoon then call my shrink right after I buy a new umbrella.